


The Kind You Save (Winter Soldier x Reader)

by ZombiePunkRat



Series: The Kind You Save [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-12
Updated: 2016-02-12
Packaged: 2018-05-20 00:19:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 27,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5986003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZombiePunkRat/pseuds/ZombiePunkRat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lost and terrified, an unfortunate circumstance throws you into the life of James Buchanan Barnes, the Winter Soldier. For whatever reason, you are the only one able to break his rough exterior and perhaps the only one able to save him. <br/>(Events occur after Captain America: The Winter Soldier and does not follow the cinematic universe afterwards.)<br/>Enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Who Is He Really?

It was all over the news. ‘The Battle of DC’ they were calling it. 

The corruption of the government organization, S.H.I.E.L.D, plastered the TV screens as you rushed passed. You ran into various strangers as you shifted through the street, pushing through the glass doors of the museum, blazer in arm. You were never late, but it was one of those days where life just wants to see you struggle. Pulling your bag from over your head and placing it on a chair behind the front desk, you pulled the navy blazer over your shoulders and clipped on your name tag. The opening crowd’s chatter filled the entrance as you stood, allowing yourself your first deep breath since that morning. 

The Captain America exhibit was on its last day and you were exhausted. Sure, you respected the man greatly and all he's done for this country, but after four weeks of repeating the story of the Brooklyn boy turned hero, it began to lose it’s luster. You paced through the exhibit glancing at the faces of young children, eyes wide with wonder at the amazing story, and at the dull eyes of the bored adults. Such a pity of how the more life you seem to have the more you seem to loose, eyes full of hope will soon fade to eyes of disappointment. But even being in your mid twenties, you seemed to keep your imagination or your thick head, you never knew the difference. 

A tour group passed, and you couldn't help but to follow. Although you were an employee at the museum and should be used to this by now, hearing the questions of the visitors never seemed to grow dull. As you followed, the group had entered the room of the Howling Commandos, your personal favorite. You looked up at the mural of the group and took a deep breath. A perfect reminder of how one man can't win a war, even the mighty Captain America needs help sometimes. All the positivity made your chest grow light.  
You glanced around the room when a man caught your attention. Occasionally you would have homeless men and women wander into the museum, and you were usually told by your boss to ask them to leave. But you never did, unless they found to be a disturbance that is. You worked at this museum for a particular reason, to share knowledge with the masses, the people, and what would it mean if you asked the people to leave? You made your way over to a certain glass display, the familiar voice over filling your ears. There was a long moment of silence as you stood beside the man, both of you admiring the display. He smelled as if he just came in from the rain, although, there had not been a cloud in the sky for several days, it was unpleasant to say the least. But, you knew all too well how looking into someone else's past helps you forget your own, so you didn't judge. 

"James Buchanan Barnes, the only Howling Commando to give his life in service of his country." You read aloud. 

The air around you seemed to tense, it felt as if it were pushing you into the ground. You glanced over to the man, and he was looking you dead in the eye, his face blank, but also accompanied with a certain intensity. Needles felt as if they forced their way into your skin as you quickly looked away. The dead glare felt like you were just stabbed in the chest, and you definitely didn't ask for another. Just as you turned to walk away, the man grabbed your arm with tremendous force. 

"Tell me who he is..." He said in a raspy tone, giving you the impression it wasn’t used very often. The grip around you arm tightened, causing you to winch. 

"Sir, the display will tell you everything we have on-" Your sentence was cut short by a sharp blade being held at your throat. 

"No, who is he really?" He asked, his voice a lot more intense than before, if that was even possible.

You weren't used to these kinds of situations, but that didn't mean you weren't prepared. With your free arm, you pulled out a small handgun from behind your back and held it to his stomach, out of sight. 

"Now, I suggest you let me go or I will have to shoot" you said, forcing the barrel of the gun into his stomach. 

His eyes grew dark, his eyebrows were knit as he glared into yours. You responded with the same look, just yours had a lot more fear behind it. 

"James Buchanan Barnes! We know you are inside! Come out with your hands up!" You heard an unfamiliar voice yell from outside the exhibit room. 

Your stomach dropped as you came to the realization of who the stranger was, how could you not have seen it? The Winter Soldier, the man who terrorized DC just a week ago, the man whose face was plastered all across the city. And now his knife was pressed across your throat, stopping you from swallowing your fear. As you both stood there, the room being clearing out, you spotted two defined figures enter the room, followed by three men dressed in swat gear. Before you had a chance to look back, the man, the Winter Soldier, had your own gun pointed at your head, facing the men.

"Bucky, you don't have to this. Let the woman go and we'll take you somewhere safe," said the voice of Steve Rogers himself. 

You wondered how strange it must be to stand in your own exhibit, but then you remembered about the whole “gun to your head” thing. The Winter Soldier didn't move, he just glared at Captain America and the man known as Falcon who stood besides his enemy. Your breath began to grow shallow as you saw the men grow impatient from behind the two heroes. 

"We aren't going to hurt you Buck. We want to help,” Captain America said as he put down his shield, hands up in surrender. 

"Speak for yourself, Cap." Falcon said, crossing his arms in disapproval, he was clearly in no mood for games.

As Bucky readjusted his footing, he held you closer and you felt his heart beating a million miles an hour. The man holding a gun to your head was terrified and that made him all the more dangerous. He was in a new timeline, he clearly had no idea who his best friend was, he didn't even know who he was. He just wanted to know the truth, but all he was getting was guns pointed at him, and you were the only thing between being arrested and his freedom. It was clear he favored one much more. 

You couldn't stay there any longer, you had to do something. So, when you felt his arms loosen you flung yourself forward. A gunshot cut through the thick air, you were sure the soldier had put a bullet through your brain, but you felt him use both arms hold you tightly back. A sharp pain entered your abdomen, as you heard yelling from across you. 

"I thought he was gonna shoot! She moved too quick!" Said one of the agents, defending his actions. 

You began to feel weak, perhaps it was the shock or maybe that was the feeling of dying, but you grew heavy in the man's arms. The Winter Soldier's face filled with panic, as if he didn't want any harm to come to you, the man that threatened to kill you. He gently lay you down on the ground, holding his gun to the men. You held your hand to your stomach, and felt the warm blood trickle between your fingers. Bucky looked down at you before quickly darting out the side exit. 

"Ma'am! Please stay awake, we will get you help!" Said Falcon as the group of men rushed to you as you lay on the ground.   
You swallowed hard and nodded, panic filled your lungs as you took shaky breaths. Captain America looked down at you, face full of regret, before darting out after the Winter Soldier. As the men called for help, you felt something stiff under your back. With the last of your strength, you pulled it out from under you and lifted it to your view.

Your gun cartridge, he unloaded the gun.


	2. He's Starting To Remember

Your eyes slowly opened, blinded by the intensity of light cutting through the window blinds. You lifted your arm to shield your vision when you noticed the IV and other needles stuck in your arms. 

“You’re pretty damn lucky, bullet didn’t hit anything important,” you heard a voice say as the blinds were closed.

As the blinds were shut, you made out the figure of Falcon standing by the window and Captain America sat on a chair in the corner of the room. You instantly felt the need to sit up in front of two national heroes, but Falcon held you back. 

“Whoa whoa, you need to rest. No need to get all excited,” he said smirking as you lay back. 

“We’re sorry ma’am, we didn’t mean to startle you. I’m Steve Rogers and this is Sam Wilson,” he said standing up from his seat. 

You were dumbfounded, two of the most famous men in DC, the world, we’re in the hospital trying to apologize and introduce themselves. Like you didn’t know who they were already. 

“Wow…oh um, I’m (y/n). Nice to meet you guys,” you said with a wide grin. 

“Do you remember what happened yesterday (y/n)? At the museum” asked Steve, a look of concern on his face. 

“Yeah...um...there was a man, he had a knife…” you paused, struggling to remember what happened next. 

“Try from the beginning, we need to know everything that happened,” Sam said, sitting at the end of your bed. 

You told them what had happened before you reached the exhibit but that didn’t seem to give any useful information. 

“What did you say to set him off? Did he say anything to you?” Sam asked.

“I just read the line about how Bucky had given his life for his country and he looked at me as if I just punched him. He then pulled the knife out…” you took a shaky breath. 

“It’s ok, we can come back later if you’d like,” Steve said, raising his hands up in a calming manner 

“No, no it’s ok. He said, “Tell me who he is.” I’m pretty sure he was referring to the display. And I told him all the information was on the diorama, but that seemed to make him angrier. He said “Tell me who he is really.” What does that mean?” You asked. 

“He’s starting to remember. We need to find him, now,” Steve said, shifting his weight. 

“Is there anything else that happened that seemed odd?” Sam asked. 

You hesitated. 

“Well, when I was shot. He put me down gently, like he was sorry… And when he left, I found the gun cartridge on the ground. I think he took it out when he had the gun to my head. Doesn’t that seem odd to you?” You asked.

The two men looked at each other, and back at you. You quickly sat up, eyeing the men with confusion.

“This is a lot to ask of you, but we think you would be able to help us. The man’s name is Bucky Barnes, or the Winter Soldier, and he is in extreme danger to both himself and anyone around him. We think that he is getting his memories back from the war, and we need to find him. For whatever reason, he spared you and we need to use that to our advantage. Now, will you be willing to help us?” asked Captain America, standing up and crossing his arms. 

And how is this all possible? You wanted to ask, but then you remembered that a man could turn into a giant green rage monster and there was a God from outer space protecting earth. So you decided not to ask questions. 

“I’ll do whatever I can, as soon as I can get out of here,” you said to the two heroes.


	3. I Didn't Mean To... I Didn't Want To

Although they needed your help, they didn’t seem to trust you very much. With S.H.I.E.L.D being corrupted by it’s own virus, you would assume they would have adopted trust issues. 

“Wait here.” Sam said pointing to the wet ground outside of a strange looking tunnel system. 

You put your hands up in defeat and leaned against a stone wall as the two men walked down the tunnel system. You closed your eyes as the footsteps of the men echoed through the walls. The air was thick and wet, as it had just rained a few moments ago. This was your favorite kind of weather, the world seemed to be at a stand still, it made you feel like you could stop and breathe. 

“Here, take these. It could be a bit dangerous, but the way you handle yourself with a gun, I’d say you’ll do just fine.” Steve said with a smile, holding out a change of clothes with a small handgun placed on top. 

“Thanks, but, I can’t exactly change here,” you said, taking the possessions from Steve’s hands. 

“Go change over there then,” Sam said, holding the gun for you.

“Sam, she’s a lady she needs a more-” You interrupted Steve by holding your hand up. 

“It’s fine, I need to get out of this uniform anyways,” you admitted, walking over to a walled off area a little ways away from the tunnel entrance. 

It was a pretty basic uniform, but that didn’t stop you from feeling a little bad-ass, alongside the fact that superheros gave it to you. You quickly changed, dumping your previous clothes in a nearby trashcan. 

“Don’t think there’s anyway I can keep these?” You asked walking back to the group with a grin. 

“I don’t know, we’ll see how you handle yourself out there,” Sam said, handing you back the small gun, which you tucked in the back of your jeans. 

Once you all were gathered and ready to go, the three of you got into a black van, Sam driving, Steve in shotgun, and you in the back. 

“So, how have you guys been?” You asked awkwardly trying to break the silence. 

“Um, fine I guess,” Steve said, looking at you with a funny smile. 

You guessed that being a national hero and celebrity, he wasn’t used to simply being asked how he was. But you thought it was a polite gesture. As the ride continued, you shifted in your seat, you weren’t too comfortable with silence, it felt like people could hear your every move. 

“So why did you have a gun on you at the museum exactly?” Sam asked, glancing at you in the rearview mirror. 

“Oh, well my dad was a cop and I lived in a not so safe neighborhood growing up. So, he had me be very prepared and I guess it stuck,” you said, inspecting your new handgun. 

“Seems like a good enough reason to me,” Sam said, parking the car next to a curb. 

“Where are we exactly?” You asked, stepping out of the car. 

“A not so safe neighborhood,” Steve said, looking back at you with a smirk.

The three of you walked through a older looking area of Brooklyn, the kind where there were laundry on clothes lines and air conditioning units peeking through windows. Steve led you and Falcon, a look of relief on his face. He must be excited to be somewhere familiar for once. 

“What are we doing here?” You asked, looking around, inspecting your new environment. 

“We think that if Bucky’s starting to remember his past, he’ll try to come to places from his memories,” Steve stated, looking around for any sign of his former ally. 

You nodded as you all continued through the neighborhood. As Steve and Sam took the lead walking forward, something caught your eye. You spotted a small area between two buildings, there was no area to sleep that you could see but the beer bottles and small tin box suggested a resting area for the soldier. Taking the tin box in hand you opened it to reveal its limited contents, a few photos, a dog tag, and a some newspaper clippings. As you lifted up the dog tags by their chain, Sam and Steve walked over.

“No mattress, he never could get used to the comfort either,” Steve said, looking through the photos. 

Sam took the newspaper clippings and read them to be articles about Captain America and S.H.I.E.L.D, dated to be a little over a month old. The photos were of random places around Brooklyn, which Steve claimed were places he and Bucky frequently visited, as well as some photos of Captain America and the Avengers. 

“This is a little out of place, a family? It looks like they're leaving a funeral. Why would he have this?” Sam asked as he handed it to Steve. 

“I don’t know. After the last few weeks, there must have been a few funerals. There are a few work and clean up trucks around the picture so it must be more recent,” Steve said, inspecting the photo closer. 

“We should leave these, it wouldn’t be right to take his only belongings,” Sam said, placing the newspapers back into the tin box. 

“Right,” you said as you slipped the dog tags into your pocket as Steve placed the photos into the box, closing it. 

You knew that the tags would come in handy, that is if you actually could find Bucky. As the three of you placed everything back the way you found it, you walked further into the neighborhood. Separated, the three of you looked for any sign of the lost soldier. You walked further when you came to an alleyway, where you stood frozen. There a few feet in front of you stood the Winter Soldier, and he looked exhausted. His eyes were dull, his shoulders were slouched and his clothes were filthy. 

“Bucky…it’s alright, I’m not going to hurt you,” you said holding your hands out where he could see them. 

He looked at you with a different face this time, it wasn’t full of rage and frustration, it was more vailed with relief. 

“You… I didn’t mean to, I didn’t want to…” He said, panic glossing over his face. 

He was in a lot of pain, not all physical that you could tell. And he needed help, whether it be from you or not, he needed it. You thought back to what you would usually do when a child was lost at the museum. The most important thing was to keep them calm until they are back where they belonged, you guessed that was the best you could do in this sort of situation.

“I know, I know, but look I’m fine…” You didn’t know why he would care about your well being, but you were willing to say anything to calm him down. 

His lips pressed together as he looked you dead in the eye, making sure you weren’t going to try to make any stupid moves. And honestly, you were sure you were going to make some eventually. You kept your hands up and slowly walked closer to him, which he immediately stepped back to. 

“I want to help you Barnes, but you’re going to have to meet me halfway. Can you do that for me?” You asked holding your hand out to him. 

He looked at you for several seconds, contemplating whether to trust you or not. With you being smaller than him, you weren't sure what he was so afraid of. After many moments of the soldier inspecting your body language and eyes, making sure you weren’t lying, he loosened his stature a bit. 

“We just want to get you the answers you need, we want to help you. So, we're going to take you to-WAIT!” You yelled as the soldier sprinted away. And you stupidly sprinted after him.


	4. A Man Worth Saving

You didn’t know what had set him off, what did you say? You had to find out. So, you ran after the wanted criminal, though the busy streets of Brooklyn, which you were sure he knew better than you, so you had to keep him in sight. Who knew when the last time he rested or had eaten was, so you knew he couldn’t have gotten far. 

“Bucky! Wait!” You yelled after him, making your way through a crowd of people. 

As you pushed through, you caught a glimpse of your target running into a closed construction building. Running towards the building, you felt a sharp pain in your side, causing you to slow for a moment and firmly grip your skin. The stitching of your wound wasn’t completely healed and you decided to run after a highly trained assassin, good call. With a grunt, you held your wound with one hand and your gun with the other, making a less than threatening appearance, but you had no choice. 

“Barnes! I’m not here to hurt you! I’m here for answers just as much as you are!” You yelled as you entered the small building. 

You slowly walked down the hall when you heard heavy breathing in the room ahead of you. You turned the corner into a small room, filled with dust and paint cans. As you entered the room, you felt something hit you from behind, throwing you to the ground. You grunted, holding your now open wound tightly. 

“Why won’t you leave me alone!” He yelled. 

“Hhhhh...cuz, I’ve seen this case all too often. I know what running away does to a person, and I’ve seen them crash and burn. And if I have the opportunity to stop that, then I am going to take it. We just want you safe, Steve wants you to be safe,” you admitted backing away from the man, desperately looking for your gun. 

“I don’t want to hurt anyone else…” He said, looking at your side now soaked with blood, backing away, as if he was afraid of himself. 

“You don’t have to, we can figure this out just let me-” You were interrupted by Steve and Sam yelling your name. 

Panic filled his eyes again as he looked at you before running into the hall, where he was immediately tackled by Steve. You got up quickly, running out the doorway into Sam. 

“(Y/n), we need to get you out of here! It’s not safe,” Sam said as Steve held Bucky to the floor. 

“We’re doing it wrong, he needs answers, not a fight. Let me talk to him,” you said, holding Bucky’s tags out. 

Sam and Steve looked at each other and looked at you before letting Bucky go. He looked up at you, his breathing heavy, you too took a deep breath, and knelt down to him holding out his tags.

“I have no idea how terrifying this must be for you, but we’re going to need your help to get you answers. And we can’t help you if you keep running away,” you said, looking into his exhausted eyes, he looked as if he could pass out any second so you had to make this fast.

“You see these? They’re YOUR tags, James Buchanan Barnes. These tags are a reminder of who you were, and I know you can’t remember, but if Steve claims you are a man worth saving, well that’s a good a word as any. And I know you carry the weight of all the years lost on your shoulders, but you aren’t the only one, you may think you have to fight this war alone, but you can’t. If you can’t place your trust in anyone, place it in yourself. Trust yourself to make the right decision, your own decision…”

He looked at you dead in the eye, as if he could see your thoughts. He held the tags tightly in his hand, as he looked up at you, his face softening. A small smile appeared on your face, he finally had someone he could trust. Slowly he grabbed the wall, pulling himself off the ground. Just as he thought he had his balance, his knees gave out, and he passed out onto the floor in front of you.


	5. The Glass Cage

After he had passed out, Steve had called Tony Stark and asked to take him to 'the Tower' as they called it, so Bucky could have somewhere to gather himself. As soon as he agreed, Sam and Steve dragged Bucky into the backseat of the van, you sat next to the blacked out assassin so that you could make sure he didn’t wake up and slit all your throats. You watched the sleeping man as his facial expression showed just how much pain he was actually in, sweat covered his face, and his jaw was clenched so hard you worried he might break his teeth. 

"He's not looking too good guys, I think he's in a lot of pain,” you said holding your hand to his forehead, he was burning. 

Looking around the van, you found a small cloth, which you used to wipe the sweat off of his face. As you did so, his facial expression softened and he looked a little more at peace. You smiled as you put the cloth away something caught your eye on the floor of the van. You reached down and picked up his dog tags and looked at the soldier as you placed the chain around his neck and placed the tags on his chest. 

"I bet it's been years since he’s been touched by a pretty girl," Steve said, looking back at the two of you smirking. 

You yanked your hand back from the soldier and tried not to look embarrassed. You gave Steve a frustrated look, which he laughed off as he turned back around, looking out the window. Great, now Captain America was teasing you, at least that was a sign of trust usually. 

As the three of you sat in the car for a few more minutes, you began to worry what you would do if the soldier did actually wake up before he got to Stark’s tower. Would he kill you first before you even had a chance to realize what had happened, and then move on to Steve and Sam? But you weren't too worried about them, they were soldiers who could handle these situations, you were not. Then you saw it, outside your window you saw the "Avenger's Tower" as the newspapers called it, with the single A at the top looking over New York. You held your breath. You've seen it on the news but you have yet to see it in person, much less get to go inside. As you looked up in amazement, you heard quiet grunting coming from the man. He was beginning to wake up. 

"Shit, we need to get him inside quick!" You said as you began to panic. 

As much as you wanted to help the man, you knew that he was extremely dangerous and you were the closest target. 

"Stark, we're coming in now, but it might get messy…” Steve said, calling in on a small earpiece. 

You backed up a little bit as the soldier tossed and turned, it was clear that he was very agitated. The car drove around towards the back of the tower, when you saw a large door open up as you all drove inside. You kind of had the feeling that you three were going to drag Bucky through the front doors but you then realized that was silly, and shook your head. These Avenger's really have these situations under control, you were just a tag along. When the car stopped, you quickly got out and walking towards Steve. You at least wanted a wall between you and the soldier when he woke up.

"Ah, the Cap-sicle actually has friends," you heard a sarcastic voice from behind you all. You turned around to come face to face with Tony Stark, one of the most famous men in New York even before he announced himself at the Iron Man. 

"Tony Stark, Iron Man, etc..." He introduced himself, holding his hand out to you and Sam. 

You shook his hand but Sam just stood there, arms crossed. You knew Stark could be a little carefree but not this much, there was a brainwashed assassin in the back of the car and he was introducing himself. 

"Stark, we need to work quickly. He's waking up, and he's going to be… not the happiest…” Steve said with a certain tone that a principle would use on a student. 

"Right, of course. Jarvis!" he yelled, at the room it seemed. 

A small panel opened behind Stark as he grabbed something out of it, walking over to the car. You then saw him stab something into the soldier's chest. 

"What was that!" You said, panicking. 

"Relax, it's just a tranquilizer. I don't need him wreaking all of my stuff. Your boyfriend's gonna be fine,” he said, backing out of the way so Sam and Steve could get Bucky out of the back. 

Your face heated up like it was roasting in the sun, as Tony let out a small laugh. He was a little too comfortable as you could see. 

"So who are you? I don't usually let strangers check out all our cool Avenger stuff, well maybe certain strangers…” he said looking at you, trying to analyze what he could. 

"(Y/n), I'm here to help Bucky…” You said, rubbing your thumb into your palm, you were nervous to say the least. 

"Right right, of course. Just be careful, Steve might try to kiss him or something," Tony said as Sam and Steve placed Bucky on a gurney. 

"Ha ha very funny…” Steve said, clearly very annoyed with him. But you couldn't help but laugh. 

"Good, a sense of humor. I like her already," Tony said as he led the way through the building. 

You followed, unable to refrain from looking everywhere, you had never been anywhere so… expensive. As you came to a stop, you noticed that your neck began to grow sore after throwing your head around in amazement. Tony tapped his fingers on a keypad and a large door opened, revealing a large glass room. 

"This was originally for the big guy, but it should work for a deadly brainwashed assassin as well…” Tony said as Steve wheeled the gurney into the room. 

"What? This is a cage, this was exactly what Bucky was afraid we would do!" You said, your voice raising as Bucky was placed on a small bed. 

"(Y/n), I know, I didn't want to do it either but this is the only way to talk to him without him running away or hurting anyone. If there was any other way, I would do that, but we can't risk it," Steve said, looking down at the sweaty face of the unconscious soldier. 

You paused for a moment, as much as you hated to admit it, he was right. Bucky was going to wake up in a place he didn't know, think it was all going to happen again. Hydra, the brainwashing, the loneliness… He was going to panic and take it out on anyone near by. This way you all were safe, but you were still worried. 

"Jarvis, make sure our guest is comfortable. Let him know the details when he wakes up," Tony said. 

"Of course" a English, robotic voice said throughout the walls.

You jumped, unsure where that had come from. Tony let out another small laugh.

"Jarvis, my robot friend. Aside from Pepper, he runs this tower." 

"Yes, I am here to assist Tony and the Avengers in their endeavors. As well as their guests," he told you, seemingly answering all your questions. 

"Well, now that that's settled who wants drinks!" Tony said, leading the group out of the room.


	6. A Second Chance

He was… upset. And by upset you meant pissed. He had woken up only about 20 minutes after you all had gone upstairs, and he… was freaking out, for the lack of a better term. You all watched the screens that displayed Bucky in his glass cage. At first he slowly began to wake up, sweat beading down his forehead, eyes surrounded by black circles, and his breathing heavy, but then he came to realization what was happening. He quickly got to his feet and rushed towards the door, desperately trying to open it, but to no avail. He stepped back and looked around the room quickly, looking outside the glass to find anyone, but there was no one there with him. He was alone again. 

"He looks so lost, maybe we should let him out… " Steve said, guilt covering his face.

Bucky began to pace around the room, he was becoming more and more furious. He resembled a tiger pacing its cage at a zoo, eyeing the guests as if they were it’s next meal. You thought he was finally going to sit back down until he let out a deep, blood curdling yell as he threw a chair against the glass wall, barely making a scratch. 

"Yeah… your friend isn't coming out here anytime soon" Tony said, eyes widened in surprise. 

Bucky continued his rampage around the room, throwing what little furniture resided with him, against the glass walls, and then continued to try his fists. But then he suddenly stopped as the voice of Jarvis filled the room, he looked around the room in a panic. Jarvis tried his best to calm and explain to the soldier but he wouldn't listen. He just continued to rampage around the room. This went on for about an hour until the soldier fell to his knees in the center of the room, clearly exhausted. 

"We need to get down there. Talk to him while he's not trying to kill the nightstand," Sam said looking over to Steve. 

Steve nodded following Sam out of the room as you watched the screens with Tony. You decided that they were more fit to handle this than you were… 

"So, what's the interest? Why are you helping this guy in the first place? No offense but you don't exactly look like you're from the 1940s…” Tony said, tapping his fingers on random screens.

"I don't know, I guess I know he deserves a second chance. And at this point there aren't many people that are going to give it to him…” You focused on the screens as Tony glanced over at you.

"Trying to give him something you never had. You hope that by helping him, it will be a sort of second chance for yourself," Tony said as if it was not his opinion but absolute fact.  
You forgot that aside from being a billionaire playboy, he was also a kind of genius, and you were an open book to him. Before you could respond a loud noise came from surveillance. Bucky was now standing, staring at Sam and Steve through the glass, with his metal fist stopped just in front of Steve's face. 

"Well, this is going swimmingly…”

You watched as Steve explained everything to Bucky. The Howling Commandos, the capture, the fall, Hydra, and who he was. Bucky just stood there taking it all in, staring at the ground. When Steve had finished, Bucky was silent and stood as still as a statue. 

"This is a lot to take in… Let's give him a break…” Sam said, placing his hand on Steve's shoulder as they left the room. 

A few hours had past and you realized how exhausted you were, and how you hadn't been home in a few days. But there was no one there to worry about you, so you didn't give it much thought. You were about to say you should head home just when Steve interrupted you. 

"(Y/n), we could still really use your help and Tony has plenty of rooms to rest in here if you'd like to stay the night. But we can drive you home if you need to go,” he said, almost as if he had read your mind. 

You thought about it for a few moments, stay in the superhero tower for the night, or go home to your microscopic apartment. The answer was pretty clear. 

"If you guys don't mind, I'd be happy to stay and help as much as I can,” you said, holding back a yawn. 

The hero nodded in agreement as he lead you down the hall. You walked past glass windows which displayed either rooms filled with unfinished projects Tony must have been working on, or rooms filled with games, either way it was pretty cool. 

"Here you go, a fresh new room. There's everything you'll need in here, even a new change of clothes. If you need anything you can always ask Jarvis,” Steve said, giving you his brightest smile. 

"Wow, thank you. This is incredible, but I don't want to be a burden…” You said, looking at all the stuff that you had to try your best not to break. 

"Don't be ridiculous, you’ve been more than enough help. Now, you should get some rest,” he said as he left you standing alone in the grey room. 

Why did they think you could help them in anyway? You were just the hostage that Bucky spared, no more. Why did they place so much trust in you? Was it because they saw how much you wanted to help him? A million questions rattled through your brain as you tried to sleep, but to no avail. You were never much of a sleeper anyways, and you had way too much to explore.


	7. A Reminder

You had changed your shirt, having forgotten the old one was soaked with your blood from your wound which Tony had re-stitched for you. You also took off your boots, they weren't the best for sneaking around. You stepped outside your room, looking down the hall for any sign of life. Everyone must be asleep, you thought to yourself as you made it down the hall. Walking into the open room you had been in earlier, you saw a large mass lying on the table in front of the security screens. Steve lay with his head in his arms across the table, his back raising up and down as he breathed. You quietly walked up to the screens looking at the one that watched Bucky. 

He sat on his bed, which he had put back into place, his head in his hands. Even with the information on his past given to him, he still looked lost and scared. Did he think Steve was lying? Did he think this was all a test put up by Hydra? You couldn't stop yourself, you needed answers. Leaving the room, you made your way down the corridor towards the containment room. You then found the entrance to the small hall space that surrounded the glass cage and walked inside. You stood there a few moments before the soldier realized the new presence in the room, and when he did you saw his face fill with anger.

"You…” He growled, staring at you dead in the eye, causing your hairs to stand up behind your neck. 

"I am sorry, I didn't know they had this in mind. But it’s for both our and your safety…” You said, trying to sound as non-threatening as possible.

He stared at you for a few moments, without so much as blinking, watching your every move. He was looking for any signs of deceit, he must have had a talent for it as much as he used it. 

“You’re Hydra aren’t you…” He said,the sound of defeat in his voice.

“No, no of course not. I’m not really S.H.I.E.L.D either, I’m just… normal,” you admitted, looking back at the soldier with a sort of disappointed look. 

He was silent for another few moments before standing up and walking towards the glass. You stepped back, fully aware of the wall that separated you two, but you could never be too careful. He stopped in front of you, looking straight in your eyes, making you very uncomfortable, but you stood your ground. He was doing this to scare you, a kind of self defense to make himself in control, but you didn’t let him, you just stared right back. 

“Now that we gave you the answers that you were looking for, I have a few questions that need answering myself…” You said with your false stance of bravery.   
He said nothing, only crossing his arms giving you a small nod in acknowledgment. 

“I know this is extremely impolite, but I found this with your stuff as we searched for you…Who is this family? And why do you have it?” You asked, pulling out the funeral photo from your pocket showing it to him through the glass. 

He leaned in for a closer look at the photo and quickly glaring up at your face, he was clearly unhappy. 

“Look, I’m sorry. We were looking for any clue of where you had went…” You said, guilt rushing to your face. 

“It’s a reminder.”

“What do you mean?” 

“A reminder of regret, guilt, of what I haven’t had in years. When I was the Winter Soldier, I killed… so many people… And I couldn’t feel a damn thing…” He admitted, looking away from you. 

“So, this family? They’re a family of one of your victims?” You asked, and he just nodded in response, looking at the ground. 

You walked over to the entrance of the room and opened the small slit in the door. You placed the photo through, before walking over to your previous spot. Bucky didn’t move an inch as he watched you walk back, glancing back at the photo on the ground before the door. 

“Sorry for taking your stuff…” You apologized. 

That’s when his look changed, it seemed to soften and looked a little confused. 

“What?” You asked, acknowledging his change of expression.

“Nothing… It’s just… you’re not like the others…” He said, relaxing his shoulders. 

“Well yeah, I’m not a super soldier or a government agent,” you said in a joking manner. 

That’s when you saw him do something totally unexpected, he actually smiled. Well, it was more of a smirk but it still caught you off guard. Just when you were beginning to think he was unable to.

“What’s your name?” He asked you with a curious expression. 

“(Y/n).”

“Nice to meet you, (y/n),” he said, his demeanor completely changed. 

“Nice to meet you too, Bucky,” you smiled at the progress you made. 

“Anymore questions?” His smile faded as he receded back into his prisoner demeanor. 

“Maybe another time. You need your rest… Good night,” you said, walking towards the door. 

You didn't want to continue with questions when you could end it on a good note. He nodded at you as you left. Looking back before leaving the room, you saw him walk over to the door, picking up the photo. You smiled to yourself as you left the soldier in his room.


	8. Eggs and Poison

“He doesn’t need to be locked up anymore! I think he’s regaining his memories, or at least his personality,” you argued with the three heroes. 

You had told the three of them as soon as they woke up, although Tony didn’t seem to care as much. You told them of their discussion last night and how you actually got him to smile, but they still seemed skeptical. 

“(Y/n), I know how much you want to help him but, he is still a threat…” Sam said, placing his hand on your shoulder. 

“And we need to run some tests on that arm of his!” Tony yelled from the other room. 

You finally gave up after listening to their arguments, they were right… again. You watched as Steve brought down Bucky’s breakfast, as the man sat on his bed, not even looking at Steve. He tried to talk to him, get him to eat something, but he wouldn’t even flinch. Even when Steve left, he wouldn’t look anywhere but the ground. You could barely eat your own breakfast knowing how hungry he must be. Did he think you all were trying to poison him? 

You couldn’t take it anymore, he didn’t trust anyone, because he never had the chance to. So you took your plate of eggs and toast down with you to the small hall that surrounded the cage. 

“Hey,” you said, sitting down in front of the cage, nibbling off the plate on your lap. 

He looked up, giving you a strange look. Your unconventional tactics threw him off again. You were never a really serious person, people usually found you weird. But he seemed to actually enjoy this, it must have been very different from what he was used to. You noticed him eyeing your dish. 

“You like eggs? I was never really a fan myself,” you said as you slipped your dish through the door, taking his dish of oatmeal in return. 

“Yuck! Oatmeal, who likes oatmeal?” You asked, placing it at your side as you returned back to your sitting position. 

He did it again, he smiled, at you this time. This made your chest warm up, you were actually getting somewhere with him. You sat with him as he scarfed down the scrambled eggs, he was a lot more hungry than he led on to be. 

“We would never poison you, you know,” you said because he had obviously only eaten your food because he had already seen you eat it. 

He finished his meal and wiped his mouth with his hand. He placed the plate by the door before sitting on the floor in front of you. 

“I know. I just hate oatmeal,” he said, with his golden smirk again. 

You couldn't help but laugh. Here you thought he was worrying about being poisoned and he just had a picky appetite. You finished your fit of laughter when you noticed he was laughing along with you. You had been told your laugh was contagious but this was pretty impressive, making one of the world’s deadliest assassins laugh. 

“Sorry about that, must have been Steve’s idea,” you giggled to yourself.

“It’s alright,” he said, finishing his laughter. 

You sat together for a while, just talking to each other. He mostly listened to your stories, because he had a very limited amount of his own, but he didn’t seem to mind. He looked at you with a faint smile as you told your stories with such passion. 

“And that’s why I hate family reunions…” You said, finishing your story. 

He said nothing, just stared at you. But not with the same one from last night, it was friendlier, calmer, different, complimented with a soft smile. 

“Well, I should head back up. I’ll talk to you soon,” you said, taking both your and his plates with you as you left. 

“Goodbye, (y/n),” you heard him say as you closed the door behind you. 

You walked down the hall with a big grin on your face, heading towards the main room. When you entered you were greeted by all three men staring at you. 

“What?” You asked. 

“That was impressive,” Sam said, looking back to you from the couch. 

“We’re you all watching?” You asked, putting your dishes away.

“And listening,” Tony said as he worked on a smaller mechanical piece. 

Embarrassment consumed you as you felt your face grow red. They had listened to all your dumb stories, and your fit of laughter. 

“How did you do that?” Steve asked, his face filled with amazement. 

“Oh, uh. I don’t know, I just talked to him normally. Like he wasn’t our prisoner…” You said with a hint of bitterness. 

You saw Steve’s eyes shift, he was thinking about something. He then turned away from you and walked over to Sam and Tony. They argued but it was inaudible to you as you leaned against the counter top. They seemed to come to an agreement and they turned back to you. 

“I think it’s time we let him out.”


	9. I'm Fine

“And you’re the one to do it,” Sam said, crossing his arms.

“Why?” You asked.

“Because he’s comfortable around you, he’s… himself. You’re the safest option at this point…” Steve said, a glimpse of hope in his eyes. 

You sighed and nodded, agreeing to be the one to let the assassin out of his cage. You walked down to the room where the soldier resided, standing by the door. 

“Hey, you ready to come out?” You asked, glancing at the man as he lay on his bed. 

He looked at you with a suspicious look, as he sat up, his tags dangling from his neck. 

“I know the others don’t want you to run away, Steve really misses you. You were his best friend, and he just wants to help you. But if you feel uncomfortable, you can leave, I’ll make sure of that,” you said, keeping the last part just above a whisper so that the others couldn’t hear.

You took a deep breath and eyed the man as you typed the pass code into the control panel, the door sliding open. 

He slowly got up and walked towards the door, glancing at you as he stepped out into the small hallway. 

“Thank you…” He said, as you closed the door behind him. 

“You’re welcome, Bucky,” you said as you led him out of the room and into the hall. 

As you both made it up the stairs, you saw the three men waiting in the large room, the light from the large windows outlining their figures. You were a little nervous that Bucky would just turn around and dart out the doors, but you had to place trust in him before he could trust you. 

“Hi Buck…” Steve said, his face seemed to glow.

“Steve,” Bucky said, holding his flesh hand out to the super soldier. 

Steve took his hand shaking it with his firm grip. They stood there for a moment, looking at each other as the room stay silent. Something was still off, Bucky recognized Steve but it was still like they were strangers. He was distant when he said his name, and Steve seemed to notice it as well. 

“You don’t really remember me do you?” Steve asked, sounding crushed. 

“I remember seeing you, I just….don’t understand…” He admitted, letting go of Steve’s hand. 

“That’s alright...We’ll work on it…” Steve responded with a smile laced with disappointment. 

“Here, we’ll show you to your room,” Sam said with a suspicious expression. 

You, Sam, and Steve walked Bucky down the hall and stopped just in front of an open door. It was almost exactly like your own room you had slept in last night, only a little bigger. The walls were bare, aside from the large window which provided a wonderful view of New York. Bucky walked in, inspecting his new environment. 

“There are some clothes for you and a bathroom to get washed up in. We’ll leave you to get situated,” Sam said as you and Steve walked out into the hall, closing the door behind you three.

You all made back into the main room to see Tony gathering random parts from the room. You all sat on the couch and began to discuss the situation. 

“He is only seeing his memories, he’s not really remembering,” Steve injected.

“We’ll work on it, we need to take baby steps.” 

“What we need to do is check out his arm,” Tony said, wiping grease off his hands with a piece of cloth. 

The team discussed this, back and forth, if it was too risky, would Bucky actually let Tony anywhere near his arm. But because it was Hydra, there had to be something inside that you all didn’t know about. Perhaps that’s how they were able to keep him as an obedient killer, he had to have it out. 

“Wait, let’s give him a minute. He just got out, let’s treat him like a normal person, that’s what he seems to respond best to,” you interjected. 

Just as you finished, you saw the three men look behind you, causing you to quickly turn around. Bucky had just stepped in, his hair damp from his shower and he had changed as well. He walked over to you all and stood there, unsure what to say. 

“How was the shower?” You asked, trying to break the silence. 

“Fine.” 

“Right, make yourself at home Buck,” Steve said gesturing around the room. 

Bucky looked around the room before walking over to the bar, grabbing a glass and a bottle of whiskey from behind the counter. The three men went about their business as you walked over. 

“I don’t suppose there’s a coke back there,” You said, grabbing a seat next to Bucky. 

“I don’t think so…” 

Silence entered the air around you once more, it was both pleasant and awkward. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing.”

“Come on you can’t be brooding about not-”

“I said I’m fine.” 

You didn’t respond, you just sat in silence with the man lost in time.


	10. More or Less

"I’m sorry, I’m just… confused…” He said, voice full of guilt. 

“About what?” You were eager to break the silence. 

“The memories, I see them but I don’t… feel them… It’s like they aren’t mine.” 

“Well, Tony has a theory on that. He thinks that your arm has something to do with it, if you would just let him take a look,” you asked, eyeing his expression. 

He just sat there looking down at the counter for a minute, thinking over the idea. 

“Alright.” 

That was easy. 

It took a few moments for Tony to get ready, but when he was Bucky had already been sitting in the steel chair. He almost seemed eager to find out about his arm as well, he may have also had a suspicion that it was more than a replacement. As Bucky sat on the chair, looking at the ground, Tony inspected an area that opened near the shoulder. 

"Tell me if this feels weird…” He instructed as he moved something within the arm. 

Bucky winched, yanking his arm back. 

"Well, that's not good," Tony said in a low tone. 

“What?” Steve asked, in a panicked tone. 

Tony leaned back allowing you all to have a look inside the metal appendage. 

“These little vials here, they seem to be pumping something into his central nervous system… And they can’t be removed,” He said.

“Why not?” Bucky asked in a firm tone. 

“Because, tin man, you’re body has grown addicted to them, they have fused with your body structure and if I were to remove them…” 

“I die.” 

“More or less… But, I can try to replace them. I just need a few samples to recognize the formulas,” Tony responded. 

It was tricky to get the samples out, because every other attempt to extract the formula caused Bucky to winch or clench his fists. When Bucky was patched back up, he looked less than relieved. 

“How long?” Bucky asked. 

“I’m not sure, a while,” Tony responded, not looking up from his microscope. 

“Well, we will just have to wait then.” Steve said, leading you and Bucky out of the room. 

“Thank you, (y/n). You have been more than enough help. If you ever need us just give us a call,” Steve said as you got out of the black truck. 

“It goes directly to Jarvis, and he’ll get it to us, for you know… secret reasons,” Sam said, from out of the side window. 

“Thank you guys for letting me help. I hope we can meet again with you saving the world and all,” you said, standing on the sidewalk. 

“We’ll keep an eye out for you…” They said as the van sped off. 

You let out a sigh, there was no way you were going to see them again. They were superheroes saving the world, you were just someone that was just trying to get by. You laughed as you thought of yourself being the next Captain America, the girl from Brooklyn turned hero. That would be interesting. You would have stayed longer at the Avengers tower, but you didn’t want to overstay your welcome and you thought they had everything under control. 

You made it up to your apartment, remembering the face Steve gave you as they dropped you off. It was like he expected you to live in a nicer neighborhood, or he thought it was too dangerous for a young ‘gal’ like yourself. You giggled at the idea. Turning the key to your apartment, you opened the door to your dark living room. When you walked inside, something felt off… Something wasn’t right. Maybe it was the man standing in your living room. The one with the knife.


	11. The New Order

“Who are you? And why are you in my house?” You said calmly, slowly reaching inside your pocket. 

“I, miss (y/n), am here for information,” said the man, who looked as if he could take your teeth out by hand. 

“What kind of information would I have?” 

“Information regarding the Winter soldier and the Avengers.” 

You were silent for a moment, hiding your phone behind your back, typing in a number. 

“Why would I have any information about them?” 

“Because, we saw you, you were with the Winter Soldier and Captain America the last you were seen. And we would like to know where you’ve been,” he said, walking closer to you. 

“Who’s we?”

“Hydra, the new world order…” He said as he stepped even closer. 

You quickly turned around and ran towards the door. Before you could turn the doorknob, the man hit you on the back of the head… hard. You fell to the ground, your vision dazed. 

“Now, (y/n), don’t make this more difficult than it has to be…” He knelt down and grabbed your chin, lifting it up your vision to look at him. 

You felt your hands around on the floor for your phone, before spitting in the man’s face. He wiped it off with the back of his hand before landing a punch across your face. 

“JARVIS! HEL-” You screamed into the phone before the man kicked you in the stomach, repeatedly. 

After you began to go limp with each kick, he stepped on your phone, ending the call. You tried your best to crawl away, but he grabbed you by the throat, keeping you on the ground. Your hands wrapped around his forearms, trying to pry him off you, but it did nothing. 

“Now, I suggest you tell me what you know, or… well it’s gonna get messy,” he said, applying more pressure to your throat. 

Your eyes began to blur just before a large mass tackled the man off of you. You quickly got up, massaging your throat, catching your breath. When you looked up you saw a familiar figure fighting the hydra agent.

“Bucky?” You asked, trying to get up. 

The man was a lot stronger than he looked, he could actually hold a fight with the super-soldier. He was able to land a few punches before Bucky had him pinned to the ground. You tried to pull yourself up using the wall before falling back down. You tried to get up again when you saw someone bust in through your front door. Steve and Sam ran over to apprehend the man, while Bucky backed away his breathing heavy. 

You finally were able to get yourself off the ground when you saw Bucky walking towards you. Your head kept pounding inside your skull as you held yourself up with the wall. 

"Are you ok?" He asked with a firm face.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine,” you groaned as you clenched your stomach.

His face changed when he saw your cut lip and how much pan you were actually in. He seemed concerned, very concerned.

"You aren't fine.”

"No, no really. I just need some rest or something…” You said as you noticed your legs giving out. 

Bucky's arms quickly reached out to grab you, holding you up. 

"Thanks,” you said, regaining your balance. 

He said nothing, only nodding his head in response. Steve twisted the arms of the hydra agent behind his back as he took him out the door. Bucky seemed to back away from you as Sam walked over. 

“What was that guy doing here?” Sam asked, eyeing Bucky. 

“He said that I had information about the Winter Soldier, about the Avengers. He said he’s Hydra,” you said, wiping your bloody lip with your wrist. 

Sam looked over at Bucky before looking back to you. 

"Well good thing Bucky got here when he did. But you can’t stay here, they will just keep coming after you. You need to come with us…” Sam said, helping you towards the door.   
You nodded your head, as you walked out the door, followed by Bucky. You turned around to face him, Bucky’s face was still, his brows were knit. 

“Thank you, Bucky.” 

“You called, I just answered,” he said, inspecting your face it seemed. 

You had the phone calling Jarvis as soon as you had seen the man in your room. You were glad that Jarvis had known what to do without you having to say a word, no wonder he was able to run the entire Avenger’s Tower. 

“Well, you didn’t have to. But I’m pretty damn happy you did,” you laughed, but quickly winched at the pain in your stomach.   
When you arched over, holding your stomach, you noticed that he had his arms out and his face was full of concern. He was actually worried about you. 

“We need to get you back…” He said, helping you to the van.


	12. A New Player

“They’re interrogating him now. But I don’t think he’s going to let the cat out of the bag,” Tony said as he worked on his science stuff that you gave up understanding a while ago. 

You nodded as you watched Steve talk to the intruder with his hands on the table, looking him straight in the eye. Sam stood back with his arms crossed letting Steve do as he pleased. After a few minutes, you saw the man say something before reaching into his mouth. Steve tried to stop him but it was too late, the man bit down on something causing his body to convulse before going limp in his chair. Steve put his hands on his head as Sam left the room. You stood there, frozen, you had never seen someone die before, much less kill themselves. Taking a deep breath, you quickly walked back down the hall to your room.

"How are you feeling?" Bucky asked as you walked past his room, his door open.

You backed up a bit to find him leaning on his door frame. 

"Fine, fine…” You said, lifting up your shoulders.

"You're a terrible liar, you know,” he said, crossing his arms. 

You shrugged, looking at the ground. You didn't know what to say, you didn't have anything to say. But as you looked down you noticed something wrap around you. Bucky held his arms around you as you hugged back, your head resting on his chest. 

"That's surprisingly out of character…” You said with a smirk, breaking away from the hug. 

"Well, I'm just doing what Bucky would do. What I would do,” he said, resting his hand on your shoulder. 

He looked at you with his bright blue eyes, his head slightly tilted complimented with a smirk. For the first time he looked… natural, like this was how he was supposed to always be. And you couldn't help but smile.

"Thanks again, Bucky…”

"No problem, if you need to talk about anything, my doors always open,” he said, putting both hands inside his pockets. 

You turned around and walked into your room. You needed some time to gather your thoughts. How long were you able to stay until you were no longer in danger? Would you ever be able to go home? What else could you do to help the Avengers? You were nowhere near as important as they were… 

You rested on the bed, thoughts swimming through your head as they swept you into a deep sleep. 

"You're right. What can you do but get in the way?" You heard a soft voice say.

You woke up with sweat dripping off your face. Looking around the room you froze when you saw a shadow of a man in the corner of the room. You're breath barely escaped your lungs. 

"Who are you? And how did you get in here? I'll scream for help!" You yelled at the figure. 

That's when you heard the mysterious man laugh, a laugh that you were sure was up to no good. As soon as he was finished, he gestured his hand over to the door. You were frozen, you couldn't find the strength to move. That's when you saw a familiar figure walk into the room. 

"I'm here to make sure you don't…” The voice said in a sly tone.

Your vision went dark as Bucky held the gun to your head, and fired.


	13. Silence

“(Y/n)! It was just a nightmare! Wake up!” You heard a voice yell as something held you down. 

You shot up from bed, panting as you looked around the room. You then turned to find Bucky sitting on your bed, holding your arms from hitting him, worried expression vailing his face. 

“You were screaming and thrashing around, I could hear you from my room. Are you alright?” He asked, as you continued to frantically look around the room. 

Just as you came back to reality you saw Steve run into the room. 

“(Y/n), what’s going on?” 

“She just had a nightmare. What was it about (y/n)?” Bucky asked, looking back to you. 

“I… There was a m-” You were quickly interrupted by a throbbing pain from inside your head. 

(You say a word about me, and I break your mind before you can even blink.) 

There he was again, the voice from your nightmare. He was still there. You caught your breath, looking around the room again, eyes wide with panic. 

“(Y/n), there’s no one else here. What’s going on?” Steve asked, following your vision. 

(Not a word.) The voice warned again. 

You took a deep breath, fear crept up your throat. Who was this voice inside your head? Were you going insane?

“N-nothing, I’m just a little shaken up. After the home invasion thing…” You said, putting on your best fake smile.

Bucky and Steve looked at each other for a moment, before turning back to you, a suspicious look on both their faces. 

“That was a little more than ‘shaken up.’ Are you sure that’s all?” Bucky asked, concern covering his face. 

“Yeah, I just get a little stressed. I didn’t mean to scare you, sorry,” you apologized, hiding your guilt beyond a nervous neck rub. 

“Alright, try to get some rest then,” Steve said, walking out the door. 

Bucky followed him, but he glanced back to look at you, his eyebrows knit. He wasn’t buying it. When the door closed behind them, you took a deep breath. 

(Good, you can keep your mouth shut. You may last longer than I thought…)

“Who are you? What is going on?” You whispered, you didn’t need to worry anyone anymore tonight. 

(What’s going on is that your mind is mine. And if you don’t do as I say, I will bring your mind to a state of utter insanity or kill you…)

“Why me? What can I do?” 

(More than you think, your mind is the most malleable. It’s new to me and that makes it so much easier. I would’ve chosen that assassin of yours, but his mind is already too difficult to navigate, it’s in shambles.)

You sat in silence for a moment, this was bad. Really bad. 

“What are you planning to have me do?” You asked, defeated.

(Tsk, tsk. That would ruin the fun. Just listen and keep your mouth shut.)

“Right...can I go to sleep now?” 

(Actually, you might want to wake up.) 

You heard a snap and your eyes shot open, as you sat up. How long had you been asleep?


	14. We All Have Secrets

Bucky’s P.O.V.

It was noon by the time (y/n) stepped out of the room, joining the rest of us. She did not look well, at all. Her eyes were surrounded in dark circles, her body language was exhausted. When she saw us in the main room, I saw her quickly put on a false smile, one I could see right through.

“Any better (y/n)?” Steve asked, holding some files in his hands. 

“Oh, yeah. Just a little tired,” she said, sitting down next to me.

Steve just nodded walking past us, looking through his files again. It completely went over his head, something was really wrong with (y/n) and he had no idea. But I could read through expressions like a book, or at least… Bucky could, so I guess that means I can. I was pretty lost in thought because I glanced over at (y/n) to see her looking at me, confused.

“I was just wondering if I could borrow a ride and… a gun?” She asked with a sly smile. The one that always caught my attention. 

“Uh, why?” I asked, a smile creeping across my face. 

“Because I’m a psycho and I’m going on a rampage,” she said trying to hold back her smile as she eyed my expression. 

“Right, right. Only if I can come along,” I said, flashing her a smile.

Once we found the small handgun in Tony’s ‘office’, (y/n) raced out and jumped into the front seat of the black van. 

“Come on, I know you’re like 80 but hurry up!” She said, honking the horn. 

“98 actually, but who’s counting?” I joked, hopping in shotgun. 

She glanced over at me for a minute before turning away, a small smile crept across her lips. Did I have something on my face? 

“What?” I asked, looking at her as she drove.

“Nothing, it’s just nice… seeing you smile. It seems to come naturally to you,” she said, avoiding eye contact. 

I looked out the window, watching the buildings rush past us. Did I used to smile a lot? I don’t feel like I did… But it feels nice. 

“Where are we going anyways?” 

“My place, if I’m staying at the tower I’ll need a few things,” she said, not taking her eyes of the road.

“What, no you can’t go back there! It’s too dangerous.” 

“Why do you think I brought a gun?” She said, lifting the gun up for me to see. 

“How much training have you had with a gun exactly?” 

“Enough.” 

If she was going to be hunted down by Hydra, she needed training. Maybe Steve could train her, he seemed to have a talent for talking to people… But that would have to wait for a better time. 

“We’re here, I just hope no one decided to rob me while I was gone.” 

I followed her as she climbed up the steps to her apartment, the area she lived in sure was different from Stark’s tower. She took out her gun as she opened the door, peeking inside. She nodded to me as she walked inside, I made sure to stay close to her, I didn’t need her to get into anymore trouble. 

“It’s clear, for now. I’ll try to be quick,” she said, walking around the apartment gathering what she needed. 

I looked around the room when I noticed something.

“There’s no photos in here. No family photos, picture of you,” I stated, looking around the barren apartment. 

“Oh, um… forgot to put them up.” 

There it was again, she put on her fake expression. What was she hiding? Did I want to find out? I watched her as she reached for something under her bed. She pulled out a small wooden box, I only got a glimpse before she quickly shoved it in her bag. 

“I know you know,” I said, crossing my arms.

“Know what?” She asked, standing up. 

“When you’re lying.” 

She was silent, not looking at me as she continued to gather her things into her bag. She obviously didn't want to talk about it, but I needed answers. 

"Something's not right with you I can sense it. Is there anything you want to tell me?" I asked. 

"No, I told you I'm just tired." She said, a hint of fear in her voice. 

I didn't buy it for a minute, and she saw that. 

"I don't have any,” she admitted, facing my question.

"Any what?" 

"Photos, I don't have any to put up…” she said, her eyes seemed distracted, like they were somewhere else. 

"Why not? I thought you would at least have a few,” I persisted.

"That's a story I'd rather not tell right now…” She said, bringing her bag towards the door. 

She walked outside towards the car, when I stopped her by the arm. 

"I'm worried about you, whether you accept it or not. But I understand if you don't want to tell me, we all need our secrets. Just know that I just want you to be safe and happy,” I said, looking into her eyes, they seemed even more distant now. 

She stood there frozen for a moment, she seemed so distracted. After I said that, I saw her eyes water. 

"Thank you…” She said, rushing to the car. 

Your P.O.V.

Bucky looked into your eyes, tilting his head like he always did. You wanted to scream the truth, about the voice controlling your mind, but you couldn't, not without it ending badly.

"Just know that I want you to be safe and happy," he said, looking straight into your thoughts. 

Why was he saying this? He has only known you for a few weeks? But you still wanted to cry, no one has said that to you in so long. 

(Well, this is interesting. This man is important to you isn't he? It would be a shame if anything were to happen to him…)

Your eyes began to water, the idea of something happening to him because of you completely crushed your soul. Without the strength to tell him how much that meant to you, you quickly thanked him and got inside the car.


	15. Cuts and Vials

When the two of you had gotten back, Steve was in a state of panic. 

"Where were you?" He asked in a firm tone.

"Calm down, mom," you said jokingly. 

Steve shot you a glance filled with both worry and frustration, before Bucky interrupted.

"We just stopped by to gather (y/n)'s things," he said, gesturing to your bag. 

"Alright, well, tell us next time. With Hydra still on the loose, we need to keep tabs on each other.” 

You both nodded, Bucky flashing you a mischievous look as you smiled. Maybe everything would work out. 

A few weeks past and things in the tower were pretty quiet. The team suggested that you get training if you were going to stick around, and Bucky was the man to do it. At first he was against it, but Steve used his powers of persuasion to convince him that he was the most qualified. 

"You need to block both your top and bottom. If you're focused on your top, they'll kick your legs out from under you…” Bucky said, as you blocked his side punch. 

"I thought you were going to show me how to use a gun!?" You yelled, frantically trying not to get hit. 

"I will, but you need to learn how defend yourself without a weapon." 

As you continued your training, you noticed a figure standing through the glass window, observing your lesson. As you were distracted, Bucky kicked your knees in, sending you to the ground on your back. 

"And don't get distracted. That's how you end up in the ground," he said with a firm expression. 

As you got to your feet you noticed the figure walk into the room, towards the two of you. 

"One hell of a training session, huh?" Said the woman with a smirk. 

You looked at her with a strange expression, she looked so familiar. The woman noticed the confusion on your face and let out a soft laugh.  
"Natasha Romanoff,” she introduced herself, holding a hand out to you. 

"(Y/n), it's nice to meet you,” you said with a grin, trying to hide how sore you were from the infamous Black Widow.

"Same to you. Now how about I show you how to fight like a woman,” she said, glancing at the silent man standing next to you, arms crossed. 

Her tactics were similar to Bucky's, but were more effective because she showed how to use your feminine body in the deadliest ways possible. She showed to use your legs more than your arms, because they were stronger on a woman. She also told you to shift your weight in order to throw all your mass at the target, throwing them off balance. But unlike Bucky, she wasn't afraid to land her punches. 

"I think… that's good… for today… " You said, catching your breath. 

Natasha shrugged as she grabbed your hand, helping you off the ground. You wiped your mouth with your wrist as you followed her out the door of the training room. Stopping in the hall you noticed Bucky leaning against a wall, arms crossed and his head low. 

"Deep in thought?" You asked walking over, rubbing your sore muscles. 

He didn't respond, he just got off the wall and started to walk away. Frustrated, you followed him.

"Hey, are you alright?" You asked, grabbing his arm to get his attention. 

He turned back to you, his eyebrows knit and his face firm.

"I'm fine. Just thinking,” he said, eyeing your bruises.

"Right. Well you're a bad liar too, you know." 

He slumped his shoulders in defeat, you felt him glance at your cut lip every few seconds. 

"I don't know… just I don't like it." 

"Like what?" 

"Watching you get hurt, I don't know why it just… really bothers me,” he said, genuinely confused. 

You couldn’t help but blush, trying to hide it as best you could from him.

"Well, I need to learn to defend myself. I appreciate the concern but this is my choice." 

"Right, and I respect that… just be careful, can you promise me that?" He asked, looking you straight in the eyes again. 

"You know you don't have to keep doing that." 

"Doing what?" 

"Checking to see if I'm lying. I'm not like the people you dealt with throughout the years, I have no reason to lie to you…”

He looked at you, his face softening. Did he really have no one to trust all those years after Steve? Would he be able to trust you… or anyone?

"I promise,” you said, confirming your statement. 

He looked into your eyes one last time before nodding. You felt your chest grow heavy, you knew you couldn't tell him about the man inside your head or a few other things, but if he didn't ask, you weren't lying. So you just had to steer clear of those topics… for as long as you could. 

As your conversation came to a close you noticed Steve walk up to the two of you. 

"Tony wants to do some testing soon, so Bucky needs to be in the lab in an hour,” Steve told you before walking past.

You smirked, it seemed that Steve thought you were now responsible for Bucky the way he looked at you as he talked. Like you could control the deadly soldier… 

(Get to the lab, now.)

"Why?" You asked aloud, clasping your mouth quickly.

"Did you say something?" Bucky asked, turning around back to look at you. 

"Oh nothing, just thinking aloud,” you quickly replied.

(Now.)

Without question, you walked down the hall towards the elevator. You haven't heard from the voice in a while so it almost startled you to hear him so suddenly. Feeling the dread in your chest again as the elevator lowered. What did he have in mind? What would you have to do?

(Over there, by the cabinet.) 

The voice said as soon as you entered the large room, cluttered with random machines and spare parts. As you walked over you noticed a pile of familiar files sitting next to a few petri dishes.

(Now, take that vial and put a few drops in each dish…)

You were hesitant, but then the man started to make your head throb, causing you to move forward with his plan. You took the lid off of each dish, dropping about 3 drops of the vial in each. Once you were finished, the pounding in your skull ceased. The voice said nothing more for you to do, so you felt your eyes shift to the files next to you. Reaching your hand out, you turned over the first page and held your breath. 

(I didn't tell you to do that now, did I?!) 

There, next to you, lay the open file of James Buchanan Barnes. You had just tampered with the formula that was supposed to help him. 

(Now get out of the lab, and stay out of anyone's sight.) 

"No, I'll tell them. I won't let you do this to Bucky… do what you will with me but don't hurt him…" 

The voice was silent. You could only hear your own heartbeat a million miles an hour, and your breath shorten. 

(Are you disobeying me?) 

"JARV-" You were interrupted by a hand grasping around your throat. 

You grabbed at your throat in a panic, feeling a cold hand around it. There in front of you, a man started to form out of thin air… How was this possible? 

(No one goes against my orders. Especially not a pathetic mortal…)

The man had dark long hair and was very lanky. You were surprised at the strength in his grip as he choked you… 

"I'm… not… scared… " You said, gasping for breath. 

A smirk formed on his lips, but not like Bucky's in the slightest, this one was full of ill intentions. He lifted you up buy the throat before throwing you to the ground. You slammed down surprisingly hard, it was clear this man was not human… 

(Oh, I think you are…)

That was the last thing you heard before your head slammed back against the hard concrete floor, everything going black.


	16. Winter Returns

You slowly woke up, holding a hand up to your head. You winched as you felt a bandage on the back of your head. Looking around you noticed that you were laying in your room, with a severe headache. 

"Miss (y/n), you're needed in the lab. Quite urgently…” You heard Jarvis say over the intercom. 

You quickly got up, and opened the door to the hall. As you got into the elevator you heard a loud crash from the lower level, causing you to quickly press the lower button. You couldn't stand still, as soon as the elevator doors began to open you squeezed between them into the hall, running towards the lab.

"Shit…” You whispered to yourself.

It was in shambles, equipment and machines lay out of place around the glass room, accompanied by random papers and broken glass. You walked through the room, finding no one, until you heard a yell from further away. Darting down the hall, you tripped over something as you turned the corner. You got up, head pounding, looking back at Captain America's shield. 

"Fucking hell…” You swore, grabbing the shield as you continued down the hall. 

You were quickly interrupted by a body being thrown against the wall in front of you. Tony landed on the ground with a loud thud and a grunt. You quickly ran into the room where he was thrown from to find Steve holding Bucky against the ground. You stood there frozen, both men had blood dripping from their faces, Bucky perhaps the most. 

"Bucky! Snap out of it!" You yelled at the man. 

This seemed to distract Steve as well because as he looked over to you. Bucky quickly threw him off and rolled away. Panic filled your lungs as he threw himself at Steve, knocking him into a wall. He stepped back, winding his arm, preparing for a hit. 

"Steve! Catch!" You yelled, throwing the shield. 

Your aim wasn't the best but he was still able to catch it in the nick of time to block the metal fist. As the two metals made contact they let out a loud noise, similar to a bell. That's when you saw Bucky throw you a furious glare, he kicked Steve's legs out from under him, causing him to fall back. He then grabbed him by the neck, throwing him across the room into the opposite wall. You gasped and quickly ran out of the room, down the hall. 

You were only able to make it a few steps before something threw you to the ground from behind. You landed on your stomach, but quickly turned around to find the Winter Soldier holding you to the ground underneath him. He lifted his metallic fist up as you squeezed your eyes shut, preparing for impact. But nothing happened. You opened your eyes and looked up to find his fist only inches away from your face. 

"(Y/n)?" You heard him ask as you held your breath.

Before you could respond, you heard a loud thud as the soldier collapsed on top of you. Looking behind him you saw Steve standing holding his shield up. You desperately tried to pry the man off of you but it was useless, he was extremely heavy. You gasped for breath as Steve and Tony lifted the man off of you. 

"We need to get him to the cage before he wakes up…” Steve said, his face bloody and bruised. 

This time you had nothing to say, he needed to be contained for now. You watched as Steve threw Bucky's limp body over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Tony then helped you off the ground as you clenched your head. 

"What h-happened?" You asked weakly.

"Well, after we found you unconscious, I tried my new formulas on his arm. But as soon as they were in his system he flipped out. Throwing things around the lab, attacking Steve and I. It was a complete shit show,” he said as you both followed the super soldier down the hall. 

You felt your chest cave in as you remembered what had happened. You had tampered with the formulas… you did this… you almost got everyone killed. It was all your fault.

"(Y/n)? Are you alright?" Tony asked, noticing that you had stopped walking. 

You were silent, trying to hold back your tears. You felt sick, how could you allow this to happen? You were worried about not being of any help… and you just caused the Winter Soldier to return. You were worse than worthless now. Without saying a word, you ran down the hall in the opposite direction. 

"(Y/n)! Wait!" You heard Tony and Steve yell from behind you.

As you continued to run you heard the footsteps from behind you die down, you were losing them. It was difficult to figure out your way through the tower but you were finally able to find the way outside. You quickly ran out the back door when you felt something sharp slice at the back of your leg. You fell to the ground, gasping and holding your thigh. Turning around you saw a large man with a small bloodied knife in his hand standing above you. 

"We've been looking for you, (y/n). I'm glad you made it easy for us…” The man said, nodding to something from behind you. 

Before you could turn around, you felt two men grab you from behind and lift you off the ground. You screamed and struggled before one of them held a rag over your mouth, causing your body to go limp. The men threw you in the back of a large black van, closing the doors behind you. You faintly heard the sound of the car starting and a yell.


	17. The Bridge

Steve's P.O.V.

She may have saved my life, if she hadn't gotten my shield who knows what Bucky, or the Winter Soldier, would've done. After I was thrown against the wall, I saw Bucky run out after (y/n). When I came to my senses I ran out and saw him on top of her, about to go for the blow. But he suddenly stopped, he was breathing heavy as he held his first above her face. I quickly knocked him out before he could go back into his fit of rage. But before the shield made contact with his head I heard him say her name, he was coming back. He then collapsed on top of (y/n). Tony and I had pulled him off of her as she struggled from beneath. 

I quickly lifted Bucky over my shoulder as Tony helped (y/n) up. Ever since we found her unconscious on the lab floor she looked different… She looked more exhausted, her eyes were surrounded by dark circles, she was paler, and just looked more sick in general. We had no idea what had happened, we were all concerned, but not as much as Bucky. I had never seen him this way before, we found him in the lab holding (y/n) as she lay on the ground. Bucky started yelling at us saying it was Natasha's fault for pushing her too hard in training. Tony tried to calm him down as I checked her pulse. It was slow, much too slow for her health, and her skin was like ice. 

Bucky lifted up her up as he carried her down the hall to Tony's small emergency room which was only a floor above from the lab, which made sense knowing Tony. He held her tightly, not taking his eyes off her before setting her on a small table in the room. I noticed Bucky's body language tense as Tony bandage the back of (y/n)'s head, he was really worried. Tony mentioned a connection between the two of them the other day, and laughed at me for not noticing earlier. But seeing the panic in Bucky's face, a face usually so calm and collected, I knew that he wasn't telling us something. I couldn't help but smile, finally Bucky had someone to help make sense of his lost hope. Someone he could live for.   
After Tony had finished patching her up, we took her up to her room to rest. As soon as Bucky placed her in her bed, pulling her sheets over her, I noticed his face start to relax. But for the next couple of hours he just sat next to her bed, it was now clear how much (y/n) meant to him. Later that day Bucky finally agreed to start his testing… that's when things began to go to hell.

"(Y/n)! Wait!" Tony and I yelled as she darted down the hall. 

Tony ran after her as I set Bucky inside the lab, locking the door. Telling Jarvis to watch him before I ran down the hall after Tony and (y/n). As I caught up to Tony, I saw him slow down and catch his breath. 

"She's heading outside, you go ahead and I'll catch up,” he said, running in the opposite direction. 

"Unauthorized personnel on perimeters," Jarvis informed me. 

As I reached the base of the building and ran out the back doors I saw (y/n). Her limp body was being loaded in the back of a large black van.

"Hey!" I yelled as the men quickly got into the van, driving away. 

I ran after the car, trying to avoid traffic, but they were picking up speed. 

"Save the fun for me Cap," I heard Tony say as I looked up to find him in full suit flying above me.

"Could you give me a lift?" I asked before he grabbed me by the shoulders above traffic. 

The van was still picking up speed but Tony was able to keep an eye on it from above. That is until the van went underneath a bridge. Tony flew higher, expecting the van to come out the other end, but it didn't. He began to fly us back towards to bridge when we noticed the van driving out at full speed. 

"There! Drop me!" I ordered, pointing down at the roof of the van. 

Timing it perfectly, Tony dropped me on top of the van. Gunshots fired through the roof, barely missing me as I made my way to the back. I opened the back doors, a man pointed his gun at me, grabbing his arm I threw him out the back of the van, pulling myself inside. I looked around to find nothing, (y/n) wasn't here. 

"Hold on Cap," I heard Tony warn as the van began to swerve out of control. 

I jumped out and rolled onto the road, barely missing a car as I got up. The van then slammed into the side of the road as Tony landed next to the driver's door, ripping it open. 

"Damn, Hydra,” Tony said as we looked at the driver, foam coming from his mouth. 

They must have switched vehicles from under the bridge… We have to find her, and fast.


	18. People Skills

Tony’s P.O.V.

“Now what?” Steve asked as we arrived back to the tower. 

“Well, we try to calm down tin man. He’ll probably be pretty helpful,” I responded trying to keep him from hyperventilating or something.

We returned to the tower, Steve catching his breath after his sprint down traffic. Once we got back up to the lab Bucky looked in pretty bad shape and the place was still in shambles. 

“What happened?” Steve asked me as we walked over to the glass room. 

“Well, either the formulas were complete shit and I have no idea what I’m doing. Or someone tampered with it. I’m pretty sure it’s the latter.” 

The brainwashed assassin was exhausted. He sat on the ground, his back leaning against the glass wall. He was silent except for his heavy breathing accompanied by dripping sweat, the formula was still in his system.

“Who would do that? I can’t think of anyone in this building that would want to hurt him,” Steve said as he glanced at the broken man in the glass room. 

“Well, let’s find out,” I said as Jarvis gathered the video footage from earlier. 

There was nothing from right before the procedure so we rewinded back to when we found (y/n) on the floor.

“Go back further…” Steve requested, his face turning more… serious. 

We rewinded back further and stopped as we watched as (y/n) entered the lab. She walked in and looked lost, like she didn’t know what she was doing there. She then stood frozen for a moment, as if she were listening to something. As she looked around for a moment, she spotted the vials in the back of the room, walking towards them. We couldn’t see exactly what she had done, but there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that she had tampered with the formula. 

“(Y/n)?! She did this! Bucky trusted her, we all trusted her. Sh-” Steve was interrupted by the footage on the screen. 

We watched as she reached her hand over to the files on her right, opening the one that rested on top. Just as she did this her hands shot up to her head, covering her ears. She gripped her head firmly and her expression tightened, it was obvious that something was hurting her. 

“What the fuck?” I whispered to myself.

“Language,” Steve responded. 

I shot him a glare accompanied by a small smile. I guess some ideas don’t change.

We then grew silent as something very strange began to unravel. Something strange and something dangerous. We saw her yell, before her expression completely changed. She looked terrified, as she reached her throat, struggling to breathe. She then began to be lifted off the ground as a figure appeared out of thin air, a familiar figure.

“Loki?” Steve asked, panicked. 

We continued to watch as he threw (y/n) to the solid ground, her head hitting the tile, hard. She lay there limp as Loki walked over to her head placing a hand on her head, smirking before he disappeared again.

“That son of a bitch,” I said watching Steve’s expression, waiting for another old timey response. But for once, he looked like he agreed with me. 

“He’s using (y/n) for something, he’s controlling her. What does he want with her? What does she have that he wants?” Steve asked as we watched the footage where Bucky ran into the room to (y/n).

Ending the footage, we brought up the security camera’s feed of the lab. We both watched Bucky, his eyes were drained and he looked exhausted. He hasn’t looked this bad since we found him, living as a homeless man. 

“Is this about Bucky? What does (y/n) have to do with him?” Steve asked, stopping the footage. 

“Are you serious? Bucky-” I stopped, looking at the Winter Soldier, grabbing Steve into a different room where Bucky couldn’t overhear our conversation. 

“The whole reason Bucky is even here is because of (y/n). If she hadn't helped us Bucky would still be sprinting down the street in the opposite direction. Bucky can’t go on without her, as cliche as this is… They complete each other,” I said, cringing at the statement. 

Steve stood there for a moment, thinking over what was said. It was true, as much as Bucky didn’t want to admit it, they spent most of their time together and he usually went to (y/n) first for help or advice. It was almost sweet. 

"You're right,” Steve said, a smirk forming on his lips. “Heh, that's just like Buck.”

"Wow, never heard you say that to me before. But I'm usually right so get used to it, spangles,” I said as we walked back into the hall in front of the lab.

"So what do we do about Bucky?" Steve asked, crossing his arms across his chest. 

"Well, I only put a small amount of the new formula in as a test. Which he failed by the way, miserably. So it should be out of his system in about an hour. Oh, and I wouldn't mention what happened with… you know who… to him just yet. The stress isn't good for him right now." 

Steve said nothing, only noded. I knew the old man didn’t approve of lying, but it was to help his buddy so he just has to go along with it. After about an hour and a half Bucky had finally returned to his "normal" self, well how he was before the episode at least. 

"Wh-what happened?" He asked, wiping the sweat off his face with a small hand towel.

"You had an ‘episode’… A violent one… " Steve said, eyeing Bucky's movements.

Bucky stood frozen, lifting his hand up to his face. He felt the blood dripping from his nose, his expression looked terrified. He really didn't remember what had just happened. 

"Did I… Did anyone get hurt… " He said, not looking at either of us in the eye. 

"Well you threw us around a bit, but nothing we couldn't handle." I said, picking up some files from the lab floor. 

"What about (y/n)? Did she see me… like I am… a killer?" He asked, looking around the broken room.

"You're not a killer Buck, what Hydra did to you… you had no choice in." 

"So she did… " He said, disregarding Steve's statement.

We didn't say anything, just stood in silence for a few minutes. I finally decided to break the silence by saying we should move back upstairs, to which everyone agreed. We needed a change of scenery from the destroyed lab.

"You should get some rest Buck, we'll do some more work on the formula," Steve said, trying to cover his lie. 

God, a child could see that he was lying. 

Bucky gave him a strange look before brushing it off. 

"Right, I'm going to talk to (y/n) first. Where is she?" He asked, looking at me dead in the eye. 

"Actually, she's pretty busy at the moment. You should probably leave her be for now… " I said, little did Bucky know of my impassible lying skills.

"You're lying," he responded, his eyebrows knit. 

Well, damn. 

"Buck, you need rest. That formula took most of your energy, and you'll need to be recharged for tomorrow. Trust me," Steve said, placing his hand on Bucky's shoulder. 

I was pretty impressed, I thought (y/n) was exaggerating about how Steve had incredible "people skills" as she called it. But now I could see that he really had a knack for it because how little fought before he finally agreed. 

“We need to find her quick,” Steve whispered urgently, just as Bucky left the room.

"I already have Jarvis looking into it. We need to look into Hydra's previous hideouts to see any patterns for where they might be held out now," I said, enhancing a map on one of my largest screens. 

Come on (y/n)… hang in there.


	19. Who Are You In Relation?

Your P.O.V.

"Let me out! I don't have anything you want!" You screamed as you sat inside a small, empty room with nothing but your thoughts. 

Nothing happened for several hours since you woke up with a severe pain in your leg. You were just about to try to get some sleep as you heard the door open. You backed up to the opposite wall as you noticed two men enter the room. One man was tall and slim, wearing a pair of slim glasses, accompanied by the more muscular man with a gun.

"Greetings… (y/n)," the man with glasses said, reading out of an open file in his hands. 

"You have a file on me?" You asked in disbelief.

"Yes, information is our specialty. And so is getting what we want, so I suggest doing as we say," he said, gesturing to the man with the gun. 

You swallowed your fear, trying to come off as brave as you possibly can. Also covering up your exhaustion. 

"We have a few questions to ask you, if you will follow us?" He asked, clearly not giving you much of a choice. 

You followed the man which you assumed was some sort of doctor down a narrow hallway as the man with the gun followed close behind. They stopped in front of a door, gesturing for you to walk in first. You slowly walked in, noticing a metal table and two chairs sitting across from each other. You reluctantly took the furthest chair while the doctor took the other. 

"Leave us." He said, gesturing to the other man. He obviously was confident in your tame stature. 

"Why am I here? What do you want with me?" You asked, growing impatient. 

"You'll know in due time… I just need you to answer a few questions." 

You didn't respond only looking at him with your deadliest glare. 

"Who are you in relation to the Winter Soldier?" He asked, placing his hands on the table. 

"A friend, I suppose,” you said, of course this wasn't about you… 

"Interesting, sources say you've been missing since the Winter Soldier has been seen out in public. Care to elaborate?" 

"Why should I answer your stupid questions?" 

"Because if you don't, we kill you." 

Panic filled your body, he was right. They had the choice of whether you lived or died, maybe it wasn't such a good idea to play stubborn. And they didn't necessarily NEED you.  
"We were in hiding from you." 

"And are you an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.?" 

"No." 

"Then, what were you doing in the "Avenger's Tower"?" 

You were silent for a moment, what were you really doing there? Was it really just to hide from the organization that managed to take you anyways, or was it something more?

"I… to stay away from you guys. And because Bu-" You quickly stopped your sentence. 

"Because what, (y/n)?" He asked, clearly growing impatient. 

You couldn't just give Bucky away like that, you couldn’t answer anymore questions without harming the team in some way. You had to get out of here, wherever you are. Before he could blink, you jumped out towards the man, reaching for his throat. But he was too quick, before you could get your hands on him he reached into his pocket grabbing a small button, quickly pressing it.

"AAAAARGH!" You yelled as your leg shot with pain, the nerves crawled from your injured leg throughout your body. You couldn't even think the pain was so intense. 

"Now, now. (Y/n), we need you to cooperate with us. Or we have to take… unnecessary precautions,” he said, placing the button back into his pocket. 

You didn’t respond, pain and anger heated up inside you as your muscles twitched and tightened on the floor. You couldn’t give away Bucky or anyone else in the Avengers, you owed them that. 

“Well, if you aren’t going to cooperate, we will kill you… Or I have something else we could use you for…” He paused for a moment before knocking on the glass one sided window. “Congratulations, (y/n) you’re not as useless as you thought you were.” 

“Take her to the cell,” he said, gathering the files on the metal table. 

Two men came into the room and grabbed you by the arms, dragging your limp body out of the interrogation room.


	20. The Useless

Steve’s P.O.V.

“Big burley men need sleep too, you know,” Natasha said, sipping out of a mug. 

Tony and I had been up most of the night trying to locate Hydra’s new location and I guess it was starting to show. Natasha placed her mug on the table as she looked on all the different screens, swiping away different locations that Jarvis had gathered. 

“Those were their most used locations, chances are they’ll be somewhere new or less used. Why are you guys looking for them now, anyways?” She asked, looking at the random papers set on the glass table. 

“Hydra took (y/n) yesterday, and were trying to get her back as soon as possible,” Tony said, taking a sip of Natasha’s coffee. 

“Right, before they can get any useful information out of her. We don’t need anymore disadvantages…” She said, sliding her mug away from Tony’s reach. 

We both nodded, it was possible that Hydra would be able to get some information out of her, but not anything useful. Why would they take her? We haven’t told her any really important information, we tried to keep it away from her as much as possible in fact. And how did they know about her being here? From what (y/n) has told us, there really isn’t anyone that would notice her disappearance. It was pretty depressing really. 

“Where’s Barnes? I would’ve thought he’d be helping somehow,” Natasha asked, looking around the room.

We were silent, continuing to do our research. 

“Ah, I see. You haven’t told him. Afraid he’s gonna lose it again?” 

The room then grew silent, I looked up to find everyone staring at the door. Bucky stood in the doorway, looking at us with a dead glare. How much did he hear?

“Bucky we-”

“You’re right. I’m uncontrollable, I’m dangerous. I should have known that everything was going too well… It was only a matter of time before…”

“No, it doesn’t have anything to do with you. Your episode wasn’t because of you, in fact (y/n)-” I stopped myself, how could I tell him that she did this to him. 

“(Y/n) tampered with the formulas I was working with. That’s why you went all berserk,”” Tony said. 

Bucky stood there, his expression growing weak. The person that he trusted the most had caused him to resort back to the man that Hydra made him to be. The man that caused him to regret most of his own memories, the man that made him doubt his own conscious. 

“But it wasn’t her fault, Loki is controlling her mind. He made her do this,” I quickly intervened before he could lose all hope.

“Here we’ll show you,” Tony said pulling a screen over to Bucky, pulling up the video from the lab. 

I glanced over at Bucky as he watched the footage, his jaw was tense. He was still until the part where (y/n) was grasping her throat and thrown to the ground. His fists were clenched and his eyes were focused, he was clearly trying to control himself. 

“Who’s Loki? Where can I find him?” He asked, stopping the video.

“Well, he’s the son of a bitch that led that alien attack a while back… He’s got a thing for mind control. Oh yeah, and he’s the brother of our buddy Thor, the god of thunder,” Tony said, basically summing it all up. 

“A god?” Bucky asked in disbelief. 

“Yeah, you’ll get used to it eventually,” I said, relating to his cluelessness. 

“Yes, so right now he’s controlling (y/n) to do what he wants. Which we don’t know what it is yet,” Tony said, closing a few screens with his fingertips. 

“Well, where is she? We need to help her,” Bucky asked, his face firm. He didn’t hear that part, and it was clear he was in no mood to be lied to. 

The room was silent for a few moments, the three of us glancing at each other. Finally, I made the decision that I would have to tell him, we couldn’t keep it from him any longer.   
“Bucky, yesterday after your episode, (y/n) ran away, outside and was taken… By Hydra,” I said, plain and simple. 

He didn't move, his eyebrows were knit and his eyes were cold. We couldn't tell what he was thinking, and the room grew more tense with every silent moment. 

"We're doing all we can to find her. Trust me. But we need your help… " I said, eyeing his movements. 

His breathing was shaky and his muscles were tense. He was clear he was trying his hardest to control his temper. 

"We have to find her as soon as possible. Hydra doesn't take prisoners, if she doesn't tell them what they want they kill her… or worse… " He said, clenching his fists. 

"It won't come to that, Buck." 

"How do you know that! How do we have any say in what they'll do to her! They won't just kill her… they'll use her, exploit her… until they find her useless… I know," He said, not looking at anyone in the room. 

The room was silent, except for Bucky's heavy breathing. He was right… if we don't find her quick… well, then she’ll be lost.


	21. The Experiment

Your P.O.V. 

It was cold. The men dragged you down the hall, your knees scraping against the concrete floor. They kicked open two large doors and threw you into a bright room. You struggled to get up, your arms giving out from under your weight. Just as you began to try again you felt a sharp pain in your neck. The doctor stood, looking down at you as the drug began to take effect. Your vision was blurry and you couldn't feel a thing. You saw the man with glasses motion to someone from afar. A pair of arms lifted up your upper half and another man lifted up your legs, placing your motionless body on a metal table. 

(Oh, look at the mess you've gotten yourself into…)

Even now, the voice felt the need to tease you. You wanted to scream at him to leave you alone, that you were of no use to him here but you couldn't. Your muscles were completely numb, you couldn't say a word, only make small inaudible noises.

"Now, (y/n). I have to thank you, you have given me the perfect opportunity… Since your little Avenger friends have tampered with our balance, I have grown dangerously low on test subjects. And just when I found a mysterious… mutation… that I've been dying to test. You should consider yourself lucky really," the doctor said, pulling a medical tray closer to him.

"G-go… to… hell…” You managed you get out of your numb lips. 

"Aw, I'm sorry you feel that way… You will help me make great leaps in science, medicine, even warfare if used correctly. Now, do you see this? Look familiar?" He asked, lifting up a syringe filled with a dull liquid up to your view. 

"No? Of course not. This is a special formula, just for you. I had found a mutation in the so called “super-soldier formula” and thought, what if instead of enhancing your physical capabilities… it could enhance the physiological? Strengthen the human mind? But I needed a transference for this of course, so what better formula than the one that could erase decades of memories? And with a little change in the equation, I think I'm finally really to find out what it does." 

You could feel the syringe enter your neck and into your spine. The numb feeling was beginning to wear off and you had a feeling you weren't going to get another dose. 

(Hurts doesn't it. To have become an experiment, a test subject for the enemy. I knew you would be interesting.)

The pain began to become unbearable, you prayed to pass out, but the formula seemed to affect your adrenaline. As you began to thrash around you saw the figure of the man in your head appear between two doctors, neither of them noticing as he walked around the room. 

"Ugh, that's a mighty force. It was starting to make me uneasy, I can’t imagine what you must feel right now. This won't be the only test if that makes you feel any better,” the man said with a sly smirk as he examined you on the table. 

The formula seemed to be finally settling and the pain was becoming duller. The doctor eyed your expression through his spectacles at you came to your senses. 

"How do you feel?" He asked with excitement, the voice standing next to him. 

"H-horrible… " You admitted, weakly. 

The expression of the doctor filled with disappointment, his eyes returned back to their dullness. He turned away from you as you sat up, clasping your head. 

"Oh, well that was anticlimactic. You always have next time,” the invisible man said, disappearing into thin air. 

"This was only the first test, many things could've gone wrong. We'll try again when you have more energy, let's say an hour,” the doctor said, waving at the men to take you back to your room. 

The next attempt was just the same, no result. And the one after that, and after that. Each day was filled with unbearable torture, and with no result. Was this what Bucky had to go through? Your heart sunk at this idea, taken out of your own time and forced into experimentation. You just hoped that he would be able to find you before the formula actually began to work. 

"(Y/n)? Are you ready for attempt #64?" The doctor asked as you struggled to sit up from your mattress on the ground.

But of course you had no choice, the men followed the same routine everyday and dragged you down the hall and into the lab. That lab almost felt like another cell to you, it began to feel like you spent more time in there than in your actual cell. The routine went on like any other day, the doctor checked your vitals and wrote them down in your file before injecting your central nervous system with the formula. The pain shot through your body, your arms and legs were cramping, your chest grew heavy, and your breath shortened. But something changed.

(*sigh* This bores me, I thought this scientist would figure it out by now… But, I should've known, you are all the same, so clueless. I'll have to take this into my own hands.) 

The voice then faded as your head began to throb, and your breath was quick and heavy. Something was definitely different this time.

"Anything?" The doctor asked, writing on his notepad, barely looking at you. 

You couldn't respond, your head hurt too much. You felt nauseous, this was worse than any migraine that you've ever had. What had that man changed? You could only muster a small nod, your eyes squeezed shut and teeth clenched. 

"What do you feel?" The doctor asked, clearly excited in the new development. 

"My-hrrr… head… hurts…” You whispered, clenching your skull with the palms of your head.

He quickly wrote something down on his notepad before reaching for another syringe on the mental tray. But before he could grasp it something strange happened… it moved. Without anything near it, it inched away from the doctor's hand. He froze for a moment before looking up at you, a smirk faintly forming. 

"I knew you were it."


	22. Mental Capabilities

You had so many questions, and absolutely no answers. It had been an hour since the latest experimentation and your were exhausted, your head still throbbing. 

"What did you do to me?" You whispered, voice shaky.

(I didn't DO anything, my dear. I just tapped…)

"Tapped?" 

The figure appeared again in your room, his golden clothing appearing in great contrast with your dark, dirty cell. 

(That man is relentless, he had the formula off balance. I thought with time he would figure it out, but you would be dead by the time he did. And really, there would be no fun for me. So I simply tapped into your subconscious, it was quite difficult to say the least, you had it very tightly sealed.)

It's your subconscious, it's tightly sealed for a reason. You had many things stored back there that you didn't want unsealed… and he just opened it up like a plywood door. 

(You know, you would be a lot more interesting if you told people these memories… But do what you will with them, they're yours not mine… Well, at least not yet.) 

You were startled as the door to your cell was thrown open, and in walked the doctor and the man with the gun. And once again, they didn't see the man in strange attire standing in the middle of your room. 

"Come with us please," the doctor ordered as the gunman yanked you up by the arm. 

You followed the man down the hall again, gun pointed at your back. The man walked right passed the lab and into the interrogation room from the first day you were taken. He gestured for the man to leave and you to sit on the metal chair opposite of him. You slowly sat down, pain shooting through your body while the man arranged a few objects in front of him.

"What are these?" You asked, rubbing your temple with your hand. 

“These are your tests." 

In front of you sat a candle and what looked like a metal cube. You looked at him with a strange look plastered across your face. The doctor let out a small chuckle.

"Perhaps I should explain a few things. I've heard of you before (y/n), long before you've even heard of Hydra or S.H.I.E.L.D. Back when you were a child," he admitted, opening a file out in front of you. 

You held your breath, you knew exactly what he was getting at. 

"Do you remember, (y/n)? Do you remember the fire?" He asked, looking you straight in the eye. 

Your head began to pound again, your eyes squeezed shut and your jaw tightened. But then something happened, it was gone, the throbbing quit as soon as it began. Your eyes shot open as something caught your eye. The previously dark candle had now been lit. 

"I've done it! My work was correct!" The doctor said, inspecting the fire. 

"What have you done?" You asked, unsure of the situation. 

"You! You, (y/n)… are a miracle! I've taken you to your full potential," he said, excitement filled his eyes. 

(Actually, that would have been my work.) The voice stated in your head, clearly annoyed.

“What do you mean my… full potential?” You asked, glancing at the lit candle. 

“The fire, (y/n). The fire that was recorded in your file. The one with the unexplained cause, the one that caused you to get a file,” he said, attempting to calm his excitement.

(Yes, I remember this. Your subconscious, oh it was full of dirty secrets.) 

“The fire that killed your mother and your father and destroyed your home. The one that you caused,” the doctor said, leaning back in his chair and a file in his hand. 

“I didn’t cause that! That was an accident!” You yelled, your face heating up. 

“Oh, I don’t think that was… And you know it, (y/n). You know that you were the only one to survive, that there was no other possible cause, and that the source of the fire… led straight to you,” he said, placing pictures of your burned home and family on the table for you to see. 

You looked away, not being able to look at the charred photos. You thought you would have finally forgotten by now, that you didn’t have to live with those images anymore… And here they were, set out on a table in front of you. You looked away as he set out more photos, the only thing causing you to look up was the sound of fresh footsteps. 

“Ah yes. The Fire!” The mind-controller said as he appeared in the room, pacing back and forth. 

You tried to not look at him in hopes that the doctor wouldn’t notice your distraction. You didn’t know how but no one but you had seen him so far, was he all in your imagination. No, he couldn’t be… he had information that you didn’t have, you weren’t that creative. 

“Mum and Dad sent you to your room without supper and you burn them to the ground… I like your style,” the voice said, his sly smile growing wider.

Your face heated up even more, your fists began to clench and your jaw tightened again. And without warning the metal cube shot off the table at incredible speed, going straight through the man dressed in gold. The area around the cube disappeared on the man and reappeared as it passed through him and slammed against the wall, leaving a large dent in the concrete. 

“Well, that wasn’t very nice,” the sly man said, dusting off his robe.

“Amazing! That cube weighed 50 pounds and you through it against the wall like it was a ball of paper. Weight isn’t a limit when it comes to your mental capabilities,” the doctor said, quickly writing it down in your file. 

“What do you mean my mental capabilities!? What did you do to me?!” You yelled, asking both the doctor and the ghost. 

“I just simple enhanced what you already had. I gave you the mental strength to help you use your capabilities again. This candle? You were able to vibrate it’s molecules until the friction caused it to combust. And the cube? You saw into the molecular structure of each atom that made it up and pushed with so much force it sped up like a bullet. And the fire? When you were a child, you tapped into these abilities until they got out of hand, before you chose to forget,” the doctor said, holding up a photo of you from the fire. 

There wasn’t any ash or dust on you. Not even a single burn.


	23. An Ally

Bucky’s P.O.V.

It’s been two weeks and still no sign of (y/n). How could I let this happen to her? How could I let my guard down for a second. I should've known that Hydra wouldn't let their thousand dollar project just run away. I should have known there’d be a price.

“Barnes? Are you alright?” Natasha asked, her eyebrows knit. 

“Yeah, fine,” I guess my face showed what I was thinking pretty well for someone to take notice. 

“Yeah, and I’m Iron Man. We will find her, Hydra is maybe resourceful but they’ll soon run out of places to hide,” Natasha said, her face firm. 

I just sighed and rubbed my face with my hands. We had to be coming close, unless… she was gone already. But I couldn’t think like that, if we were going to find her I needed all the hope I could get. 

“So we know they haven’t left the country, and that they’re using a new location. Are there any new but vacant locations that are pumping a strange amount of power, Jarvis?” Tony asked.

“Aside from yours, sir?” 

“Yes, and I would prefer to keep those on the down low…” Tony whispered. 

“Of course. There are currently 153 locations that fit in these parameters,” Jarvis explained.

“We need to narrow down those odds,” Steve said, eyeing my clenched fists every few seconds. 

This was getting ridiculous, we had no new leads and (y/n) was running out of time. While the others were deep in conversation, I snuck out of the room without notice. I had to clear my head, and Stark’s tower of lights and glamour really wasn’t the right place to do it. So, after awhile of trying to find my way through the halls I was finally able to find the doors outside. With my face concealed underneath a baseball cap I walked out into the busy streets of New York. The sky was void of clouds and even with the noise of people talking, it was peaceful… almost familiar.

“No, of course not. Why would I let her do that?” I heard a man say on his telephone as I walked by. 

New York had changed a lot throughout the years, but many things still remained the same. Navigating through the city streets was much easier than trying to find my way out of the tower. But even in the city I had grown up in, I still felt like a stranger. No matter how much I have tried to forget the past, how much I’ve tried to move on… It always came rushing back. Maybe this was a sign that I shouldn’t forget, that I should live on with the memories that don’t feel like mine. That I should move on as the man everyone remembers me to be…

“Right, right. Well how was I supposed to know that?” A woman said, dragging her child behind her through the crowds. 

As I turned my head forward something strange happened. Everyone on the street was moving towards an area further down. I followed as people started to gather around in a large group, obviously amazed by something. I pushed my way through the crowd until I saw what had everyone was staring at. In the street there was a giant burning symbol etched into the street with a man standing in the center. He had long blonde hair and was dressed in some kind of armor draped in a red cape. People had begun to take photographs with their phones as the man looked around at the crowd that had surrounded around him. 

“I love you Thor!” screamed the young woman that was standing right next to me.

Loki’s brother, Thor, the one that Steve and Tony had told me about. Without much thought I felt my blood heating up as I broke out from the crowd and stood out in front of the   
man. 

“What is your brother doing here?!” I yelled at him as he turned around to face me, a large hammer firm in his hand.

“And who might you be?” He asked, almost looking amused.

“That doesn’t matter right now, I need you to tell me what you’re brother is doing here,” I said firmly, holding my ground. 

He looked at me with a strange look, like he didn’t expect me to know that his brother was here. Suspicion swept across his face as he inspected my body language. 

“I demand you tell me how you know of my brother’s location. Who are you?” He said, grabbing me by the collar lifting me up from the ground. 

Anger filled my body as my feet lifted off the ground. In a blink of an eye I swung my metallic fist across the god's face, causing him to throw me to the ground. He stumbled back in surprise followed by laughter as he wiped his mouth with his fist. He walked towards me weighing his hammer as I stood, rolling up my sleeves revealing my arm.

"Ah, the soldier of winter. Jane has told me much of your stories of terror," he said, his voice booming as people ran away from us once they learned of my identity. 

I was a terrorist and he was a god, this was going to be interesting. He begun to swing his hammer and threw it at me, I quickly dropped to the ground barely dodging the large mass. As I quickly got up he ran at me and tried to land a punch, to which I blocked each attempt swiftly. Growing frustrated he went for a headbutt knocking me to the ground, and quickly landed a punch across the face. Before he could land another I lifted up my legs, kicking him off of me. Getting up again I ran at him landing a few punches, he was obviously better at offense than defense, but he grabbed me be the throat before I could hit him again. As my feet left the ground I kneed him in the stomach, only causing him to clench my throat stronger. Just as my vision began to go blurry something hit Thor's arm causing him to drop me. 

"Thor, he's an ally," Steve said catching his shield as it returned to him. 

Thor looked at me as I wrapped my hand around my throat, gasping for breath. 

"Apologies Steven, I was unaware,” he said, summoning his hammer back to him. 

He caught it and offered me a hand up, to which I bitterly declined. 

"What are you doing here?" Steve asked as I wiped blood from my lip. 

"Loki escaped and I saw that he was back on earth, so I came to retrieve him,” he said, occasionally glancing at me. 

"He is. He's controlling a friend of ours who has been recently kidnapped by Hydra. Can you help up find her. Loki is living in her head so to speak," Steve responded quickly. 

"Of course, the easiest way to locate him would be through his scepter. He shares an energy with it, it's what gives him his powers,” Thor said as we began to walk towards the tower. 

"Who is this friend that we are searching for? Have I met them?" Thor asked as we entered Stark's tower. 

"Her name's (y/n). And she's an innocent that needs to be found fast," I responded.

"Ah, that's the clearest answer you've given me yet. And this (y/n) means much to you, yes?" Thor asked, glancing back to me as I glared at him. 

"She's been very helpful, and has become an important member of the team," Steve interrupted, saving me from having to answer. 

Steve led us into the elevator and up to the floor where the scepter was being held while the people working in the tower gawked at the God of Thunder. We made our way down the hall and entered the room where the mystical staff was the glowing center piece. 

"It will glow brighter the closer we come to Loki," Thor said, lifting it off the display.

"Good. Chances are the base isn't that far given that they lost us at the first bridge they could find. We can probably find their base on bike," Steve said holding his hand out for the scepter. 

"No, this is too powerful and will easily influence the average man's mind," Thor said, holding it away from Steve. 

"I'll take it. There isn't much of my mind to influence," I said, holding my hand out.

Reluctantly he handed me the scepter, it weighing my hand down because it was heavier than it looked. I didn't feel any different with it in my hand but I could sense it's power emanating from the blue stone at the top. 

"Right. Team, let's suit up."


	24. Man-Made Monster

Your P.O.V.

"Get those away from me!" You yelled, pushing the photos away from you.

"You caused the fire, your anger boiled inside you and caused the area around you to catch fire. But you didn't know of your abilities at the time so you couldn't control it, and it just spread until your whole house was ablaze. With you right in the center of it,” the doctor said raising his voice. 

You were silent, trying to hold back your anger.

“And after that, you tried to forget about what you are capable of. So your power became part of your subconscious because you didn't believe. That's why my formula worked, it didn't give you powers it enhanced them,” the doctor said gathering the photos to put back into your file. 

"Now, we're going to test your capabilities some more. We want to see what you can really do,” he said, putting you file onto the floor next to him.

"Why are you doing this to me. How does this help you, help Hydra?" You asked, your eyebrows firm. 

"We know of your relation with the Winter Soldier, we know of how you are able to influence it… control it. And with your new found abilities, you will tear the Avengers apart,” he responded, getting up from his chair. 

You felt the air around you start to heat up and you tried to keep yourself under control. You began to take deep breaths as the doctor walked towards the door. He then wheeled something in, a stand with a monitor strapped to the top. 

"Now to see what you can really do,” he said as he clicked the remote, turning the screen on.

As soon as the screen came to life, your heart sank. There was Bucky sitting on some kind of chair, breathing heavily. Doctors and guards walked around the room, while he just sat there in silence. You watched, your eyes watering, they had taken him again. He had run away and you promised you wouldn't let this happen to him again, and here he was. You continued to stare at the screen as a doctor pushed him back in his seat, and something was lowered down to his head. The same doctor put a mouth guard in as Bucky clenched down hard, as the strange attachment encased the top of his skull. The doctor then pressed something on the control panel, causing Bucky to scream out in pain. 

"No!" You screamed as you quickly stood, knocking your chair over. 

You’ve had enough, you finally decided to let it all out. The metal table was thrown at the wall out of your way as you walked towards the doctor. He backed up as you threw the monitor at him, throwing him against the wall. He backed up as you got closer. You could hear the walls, ceiling and floor began to rumble and break as you moved closer the doctor. 

"Yes! Good job. Now, try to calm down…” He yelled. 

"Calm down?! You made me a monster. I'm just returning the favor,” you said as you placed your hands on his head. 

“No! I lied, we don’t have the asset. This was an old recording of one of his sessions. Now, calm down!” He yelled in a panic. 

You were so blinded by anger and confusion that you had no idea what you were doing. Your grip on his head began to tighten as you focused your thoughts on his mind. His body began to convulse and his eyes rolled back before you let go, his head streaming. The dead man with scrambled brains slumped against the wall in front of you. You had to get out of here, there was no way Hydra was going to let you live after what you had just done. 

"Doctor? Is everything alright in there?" You heard a voice ask from outside in the hall. 

You had to think quickly, you didn't have much time before they put a bullet through your brain. While trying to concentrate, you put your hands up towards the door and squeezed your eyes shut. With a little push the door shot off its hinges, opening up the hallway to you. Agents then began to run at you and in a panic you threw them against the wall, knocking them all unconscious. Your heart was racing as you ran down the hall away from the footsteps behind you. 

"Patient has escaped! Repeat, patient has escaped!" You heard the man yell from behind you, followed by gun shots. 

You quickly tuned the corner, bullets hitting the floor behind you. Unless you wanted a bullet put in you, now was the time for some quick thinking. Stopping and turning around, you threw your hands up and a force shot out towards the men, throwing them back. Focusing, lifting your hands up towards the ceiling, the floor began to break and lift up creating a wall between you and your assailants. You then noticed your legs beginning to wobble, that drained a lot of your energy but you still had to get out of here. 

“She’s down here!” Yelled a man as you ran past a slim hallway. 

You tried to run as fast as you could, but your legs were beginning to give out. Before you had the chance to fall to the ground you ran into an empty room to your left, locking the door behind you. Hearing the footsteps of your assailants only a few steps away caused you to duck behind a large desk away from the door. Gunshots rang through the air as you covered your ears, splinters of wood shooting into the room as bullets hit the opposite wall. Panic began to fill your body, adrenaline pumped through your veins. You had to get out of here, you couldn’t be a damsel in distress any longer. There was only one way to get out of here, and to make sure Hydra couldn’t do this to you, Bucky or anyone else ever again. And that was to bring this place to the ground.


	25. All He Lost

Bucky’s P.O.V.

I followed Steve on an extra motorcycle that Tony had lying around, holding the staff in front of me. Taking a left, the stone quickly grew brighter and I picked up speed, passing Steve. I felt myself begin to grow tense as I thought of what Hydra could be doing to (y/n), that is, if they haven’t killed her. For years I’ve been used, lost, and abused. And for the first time in decades someone didn’t see me as a monster or a basket case, they saw me as a person. I finally found someone that I could trust and someone I could live for. I cannot let anything happen to her, she led me to be the man I could be, not the one I should be. She didn’t expect me to be Bucky and didn’t fear the Winter Soldier, she just saw me, a man who needed a second chance. 

“There!” Thor shouted from above us, picking up speed down the roadway. 

We followed as the god flew above us until we felt the ground begin to shake, and a loud rumbling sound growing as we drew closer. That’s when a large piece of concrete broke up from the ground, causing me to quickly turn, the road catching my leg. As I hit the ground, tumbling down the road I could hear Steve and Thor not far behind. Steve stopped his bike halfway down the road and ran towards me as I felt the ground begin to rumble beneath me. 

“We need to keep going. Get up, jerk,” Steve said, holding him hand out to me.

Cracking a smirk, I pulled myself off of the gravel and began to run further down the road, avoiding the large cracks in the ground. The road was coming to an end as we noticed the source of the chaos. A few feet away from the other buildings was a large abandoned hospital with the windows broken and the walls cracking.   
“It’s coming to the ground!” I yelled as dust and debris filled the air. 

We all watched as men in uniform and body armor ran out of the building. As screams accompanied the chaos of the falling building, I noticed the sceptre growing incredibly bright. This is it, this is the Hydra base. And (y/n) is inside. 

“(Y/n)! She’s in there!” I yelled, giving Thor the staff and running towards the crumbling building.

Before I could get far I felt something grab my arm. 

“No, we can’t risk losing you too!” Steve yelled, holding my arm.

The ground began to shake as the building’s walls began to break apart. It was going to come down any minute. 

“You won’t! Let. Me. G-” 

But it was too late. Before I could get out of Steve’s grasp, the hospital began to crumble and the pieces fell to the ground. Dust filled the air as the sound of utter chaos filled our ears. We struggled to keep our balance as the building came tumbling down, drowning out the screams. As the dust cleared, all we could see was the pile of brick and debris that was the hospital… no sign of (y/n). 

“No!” I screamed, running towards the fallen building.

I began to force the debris out of my way, throwing rubble and brick away from the pile. I felt my face heat up as I yelled her name and threw debris out of my way. Nothing but silence and the sound of my grunting filled the air, no call for help. I knew I didn’t deserve her, I knew that our moments of peace wouldn’t last. If only I hadn’t met her in the first place, then she wouldn’t have been in danger and she would still be alive. I did this to her, this was all my fault. I couldn’t take it, I held my breath as I fell to my knees. I couldn’t feel anything, just numbness. And that’s what scared me most of all.


	26. Connection Lost

Silence filled the air as I just sat there in front of the rubble. That was it, I had lost what little hope I had. I didn’t move an inch as I heard Steve walk up behind me. He took a deep breath before placing his hand on my shoulder. 

“Buck… There’s nothing you could’ve done. This isn’t your fault.,” he said, grief lacing his voice. 

“If I hadn’t taken her hostage, if I hadn’t let her in… if I hadn’t fallen in lo-” 

“The scepter! It still glows!” Thor interrupted, lifting the staff up to our view. 

Loki… he wouldn’t have just let her die like that, he has much bigger plans than that. I felt my adrenaline began to rush, but I couldn’t let myself fall victim to hope again. I stood up, taking a deep breath as Thor waved the scepter in different directions. He stopped as we noticed the stone glow intensely, pointing further down the road. 

“Down there!” Steve yelled as we all ran down the broken street. 

Jumping over loose pieces of concrete and rubble, we noticed the air felt thicker. The scepter began to grow brighter, almost appearing white, before something stopped us in our tracks. Just a few feet away from us stood a figure, they were clenching their head tightly and was crunched over. As we inched closer, the figure came into full view and I felt my heart nearly jump out of my chest. 

“(Y/n)!” I yelled, running towards her. 

She quickly looked up, covered in dirt and dust with a few cuts across her arms, and her eyes were… different. They seemed more clouded from their usual bright color, and I could see tears framing her bottom lid. As she focused and realized who I was her expression changed, she looked terrified. She tensed up, backing away from me. Before I could get close, she threw her arms in the air and I felt myself shoot backwards, landing on the concrete with a loud thud. My vision was blurry as I looked up at her, she yanked her hands back like she was terrified of what she’d done.

“I’m sorry! Y-you have to stay away from me! I can’t con-uggghhhh!” She was interrupted by her hands shooting up and grasping her head.

I heard Steve and Thor run up from behind me and stop as I got up. What had just happened? What did they do to her in that hospital? 

“(Y/n), please…” I said, walking towards her slowly. 

She looked up at me again, her eyes were even cloudier and she looked very pale. Before I could take another step she darted in the opposite direction. We yelled her name as we ran down the street, following her every move. 

“You have to leave me alone!” We heard her yell as she looked back and threw up her hand underhand. 

With the movements of her wrist a large piece of road was lifted up, blocking our view of her. As quickly as we could, we found our way around the large stone, we found the street empty. No, I couldn’t lose her again. 

“Over here!” Thor shouted, holding the staff in front of him.

We quickly followed, coming to a stop in front of a large old, rusty warehouse, where we heard a scream. 

“(Y/n)!” I yelled, darting inside. 

I quickly stopped to see the large empty warehouse in utter chaos. The air was filled with objects flying and shooting in every which direction, I had to watch and make sure I wouldn’t be hit. And in the center was (y/n), sitting on her knees and grasping at the ground. Her eyes were even whiter at this point, I could barely see the tint of her previously bright eyes. She looked terrified, like she couldn’t control what she was doing. 

“It’s ok! I’m going to get you out of this!” I yelled, running towards her. 

Before I could reach her, I felt a fist hit me straight across the face, sending me to the ground, clenching my jaw. 

“Oh, are you now? The hopeless man with blood stained hands, is going to stop this?” Said a mysterious voice, as a figure seemed to appear out of thin air, cracking his knuckles. 

“You son of a bitch!” I yelled, lunging at the man, but I just passed straight through him, landing on the ground. 

“You brooding types are always the same, so impulsive, so full of rage. No wonder you let this happen,” he said, dusting off his gold and green clothing. 

I wiped the blood from my lip before standing up, and swinging my fists at him. He dodged most of them before grabbing both my fists with incredible strength, the strength of a god. I yelled out in pain as he bent my fists back, a smirk inching across his face before something hit him, hard. The shield bounced off of the back wall and back to it’s origin. 

“Loki, stop this! There is nothing for you here!” Thor said, his voice booming through the large space. 

“Oh, but there is! Revenge. Revenge on those who humiliated me, put me into imprisonment. You have no idea what that’s like. None of you do!” Loki said, anger filling his tone. 

“Yes I do. This doesn’t give you the right to take it out on the innocent!” I yelled, grabbing the slim man by the neck.

“Innocent! Ha! There are no innocent on this miserable planet. Especially you, “The Winter Soldier”, I can’t imagine how much blood you must have on your hands,” he said with a grin. 

Anger filled my stature as I threw the man across the room. But before he hit the wall, he dissolved into thin air. Laughter filled the air as we looked around, trying to find the trickster. 

“Thank you for the gift. Now, I must be going,” said the sly man from behind me. 

I turned around to find Loki holding (y/n) tightly in front of him, his sceptre pointed at her neck. I could see her breathing go shallow as she tried to create as much distance from the sharp edge as possible. 

“Loki. Let. Her. Go. She has nothing to do with this,” Steve said, putting his hand up in surrender. 

“She has everything to do with this! She’s let’s say… a project of mine,” he said, holding the sharp edge closer to her throat. 

The objects that had been flying around the room had frozen still in middle of the air. Silence filled the room as we all looked around at the strange happening. 

“I am not your puppet,” (y/n) said, her voice steady but laced with rage. 

Something seemed to shoot out from her, an energy of some sort, throwing Loki as well as the rest of us in the opposite direction. 

“I won’t let you use me anymore!” She yelled, as she threw her hands up, lifting the slim man off of the ground. 

She threw her arms in the opposite direction, and Loki followed, hitting the opposite wall. Both Thor and Steve ran over to him, grabbing him by the arms, and yanking him off the ground. I quickly ran over to (y/n), wrapping my arms around her, burying my face into her hair. I tried to keep my breath steady as I felt her wrap her arms around me, she felt extremely weak, like she could collapse any moment. 

“I-I’m sorry,” I said, my voice shaky. 

“It’s not your fault. We’re ok, it’s all gonna be ok,” she said, her eyes clearing from the misty white color. 

Maybe she was right, maybe now things were going to be ok. She looked up at me, her bright clear eyes contrasting her face covered in cuts and dust. Holding her tightly, I leaned in towards her and closed my eyes. I could feel her smile as my lips met hers. For once I felt, grounded, like I was were I was supposed to be. Breaking away I heard something that caused my stomach to turn. I glanced over to see Loki laughing. 

“Did you really think it was going to be that easy,” he said, before dissolving into the air. 

“Auggh!” (Y/n) screamed, clenching her head. 

“What’s wrong! (Y/n) stay with me!” I yelled as she dropped to the ground grunting with pain. 

I noticed her eyes beginning to return to the faded white glaze as she began to shake. I held her tightly looking over at Thor and Steve in a panic as they ran over. 

“He was never really here. He’s using her as a kind of beacon, he’s not on Earth,” Thor said, eyeing her movements.

“What do we do!” I yelled in a panic, holding her closer.

“We have to break the connection.”

I looked down at (y/n) as she clenched onto my shirt tightly, with her eyes shut. We had to do it quick, or she would die.

Before we could say anything, (y/n) stopped shaking for a moment and looked up at me. With a worried expression, masked with a smirk she placed a small kiss on my cheek. 

“It’s gonna be alright,” she said, placing her hands up to her head, concentrating. 

I didn’t know what was going on until it was too late. She was pushing Loki out of her mind physically, clenching her hands tighter as she applied more force. She began to grow weaker the more she pushed until she collapsed. Panic shot through my body as I held her limp body, lifting her head up. Steve leaned in and placed two fingers on her neck.


	27. End

Your P.O.V.

You had been asleep longer than expected, Tony said it was a “small coma”, that took you a week and a half to wake up from. But when you did you were greeted by the sleeping figure of Bucky in the chair next to your bed. It was nice to see him so peaceful, so at rest, he wasn’t anxious or stiff, he was natural. As you tried to sit up, you heard him start to wake up. 

“(Y/n)?” He said faintly, his eyelids heavy. 

“Yeah, it’s me,” you said with a smile. 

His eyes shot open and he quickly got up from his seat, wrapping his arms around you. You buried your face into his shoulder, trying to keep your breath steady. He broke from your hug and to placed your hands on his face, his signature bright smile inching across his face. You pulled his face closer and pushed your lips against his. 

“Sorry to interrupt you love birds,” Tony said sarcastically, leaning against the door frame joined by Steve. 

You felt your cheeks heat up as you broke away from his kiss, a smile plastered on your face. Bucky stayed seated on your bed looking at you as Steve and Tony entered the room. Tony walked over to a screen to your left and looked through a few things. Steve walked over to the bed, a smirk across his face. 

“Your vitals seem normal, but you’ve been asleep for a long time so your gonna feel queasy. I’ll go get something for your stomach so you don’t blow chunks everywhere,” Tony said, leaving the room. 

The room was silent for a few moments after, until Steve spoke up. 

“You gonna keep this one around, Buck?” Steve asked with a soft laugh. 

“Ha, yeah. She’s not going anywhere,” he said, looking over to you with a smirk. 

“Well, (y/n) we could really use your talents. Your abilities need some practice, but with some training you would be a great addition to the team,” Steve said, crossing his arms.

“Really? Yeah, I would love to help you guys,” you said, sitting up.

For the next few months you spent time training with Bucky and Steve to understand and control your powers. You couldn’t have asked for everything to work out better, you had found a home, somewhere you felt you could belong. And you and Bucky became inseparable, you could trust each other and when you worked together you were unstoppable. Everything was going to be ok.


	28. Panic and Ice (Christmas Bonus)

Happy Holidays everyone! 

Here’s a little surprise Christmas chapter of an idea that I thought was cute. And I wanted to write something cute and fluffy, with a little anxiety to keep it interesting. 

Enjoy!

\---

It was Bucky’s first real Christmas since being the “Winter Soldier” and you wanted to do something different, something unique. You thought about this for months. Sure, you could just buy something, but Bucky needed something special, and you had the perfect idea. It was late at night, hours after most of the team had gone to bed, but you were determined to drag Bucky out of bed and into the cold. Although he didn't mind the cold, especially since he was conditioned not to, you refused to believe he shouldn't be comfortable. You threw his jacket and boots on him as he lay in his bed, as he rubbed his palms over his face. It took a few minutes to coax him to wake up, especially after giggling at how the previously deadly assassin was complaining about being dragged out of bed. 

“Whyyy… ?” He whined, trying not to yawn. 

“Come on, get dressed. I don't have all night,” you said, crossing your arms. 

He glared at you for a few moments until he saw that you weren't budging, and then swung his legs over the side of the bed.

“Do you mind?” He said, grabbing his pants from his bed. 

“Not at all,” you teased, but turned around once he glared at you again. 

Once he finished getting dressed and lacing up his boots, you both walked out the door and into the hallway. You tried your best to be quiet as you left the tower; you wanted this to be secret, something only the two of you knew about. Once you left the tower you both were greeted by the snow covering the city, with no one to be seen, not even a single car. You took a deep breath as you both walked downtown together, accompanied only by silence and snow falling. 

“Where are we going anyway? Is something wrong?” Bucky asked, as he held your hand in his own metallic one.

“What? No, it's a surprise. A little Christmas present,” you said, smiling up at him. 

He looked down at you and his suspicious glare instantly melted. You found that this happened often, over time Bucky would grow exceedingly anxious and worried, and you weren’t surprised after everything that’s happened. But whenever he grew anxious or panicked, you were always there to comfort him, always there to assure him that it was going to be ok. Whether or not he truly believed you are not, which he usually did, it made him feel better nonetheless. 

“Hurry up! It's just in here!” You yelled, taking a detour off the sidewalk and into the dark forest. 

“Y/n! Slow down!” He yelled, running after you. 

But there was no response, you were out of his sight, causing him to panic. Looking around frantically he was greeted by a ball of snow hitting him square in the face. The once silent forest was filled with the echoes of your laughter, interrupted by a large mass tackling you to the ground. 

“Two can play this game,” Bucky said, pinning you to the ground, a smile stretched across his. 

You squirmed under his grip, but it was clear he had no intention of letting go. With a sly smirk you concentrated on a pile of snow next to you and forced it into a large mass, throwing the soldier off of you. He wiped snow off of his face as you ran deeper into the forest, trying to hold back your laughter. 

“Hey! That’s not fair!” Bucky yelled. 

“Excuse me super-soldier? What’s not fair?” You yelled back. 

It was true, your power of matter manipulation did give you the advantage, especially in snowball fights, but so did having super strength; so it was even. A few hours had passed and you found yourself beginning to grow tired as you ran from the soldier, trying to avoid detection, and continuing to fail. 

“Come on, old man! Is that all you got?” You taunted, running through the snow. 

When you first met him, you wouldn't have dreamed that you would be chucking snowballs at the infamous “Winter Soldier.” But times change, as do people; you met each other and wouldn't have it any other way. You ducked behind a tree when you sensed the snowball barreling towards you, exploding on the bark. You both laughed and screamed, hurling snowballs at each other, determined to get the other to admit defeat. 

“Ah ha!” You heard Bucky yell as he tossed a snowball hitting you square in the back. 

“I’ve been hit!” You yelled, pretending to be wounded as you ran in the opposite direction. 

Although you found it hard to catch your breath, you continued to run through the thick, snow-covered forest dodging branches. But then a certain sound stopped you dead in your tracks. You looked down at your feet to find cracked ice under your boots, growing bigger every time you took a breath. How could you have missed the gigantic frozen lake you were running on? You felt your heart race and your breath quicken once you came to terms with the situation. To be honest you were scared out of your mind. 

“Y/n?...Y/n!” You heard Bucky yell as soon as he saw you. 

Throwing your head up was the last opportunity that the ice needed. You only caught a glimpse of panic on Bucky’s face before you were thrown under water. A wave of alarm washed over your body as it convulsed in the frozen water, your mind, unable to concentrate on anything. You tried to focus on the water around you but it was no use, the water was too cold, your body couldn't handle it. As you swam up towards the surface you were stopped by a thick sheet of ice, mocking you as you tried to punch your way through. You simply could not get enough momentum under the water, in addition to your muscles tensing up, and the fact that you were running out of air, fast. Your powers had allowed you to become very in tune with your own body, and you could feel it starting to shut down. Even though you were superhuman, you were still part human and had the same weaknesses. 

As your muscles convulsed, stiffening your movement, you felt yourself sinking deeper into the black, frozen water. Panic was all you could feel at this point, panic and ice. Just as your eyes begin to grow heavy, you felt a tight grip around your waist, tugging you up. Your body grew heavier as you felt Bucky swimming towards the surface, holding you tight in his grasp. As he touched the surface he began to punch the thick ice, it only taking two swings before he broke through.   
As soon as you reached air again you gasped for breath, coughing up the frozen water stuck in your lungs. You both were close enough to the edge of the lake that you could crawl over, not risking any more cracks. Once you reached shore, Bucky ran to your side as fast as he could, dismay residing in his face. You lay frozen on the ground, shaking and scared. Bucky noticed your shivering and took off his coat, wrapping it over your shoulders as he held you up, hugging you in his arms.

“Shh, Y/n, it’s over now. You’re alright,” He whispered to you, holding you tightly to his body, attempting to keep you warm. 

A flood of emotions washed over you: fear, relief, embarrassment, and panic, all at once. Before you knew it, tears were dripping down your face and you were heaving. You hadn’t been this scared in a while and it caught you by surprise. You grabbed Bucky’s arms as he held you, weeping into them before you felt his hand graze your face. You wiped away your tears in embarrassment, looking up at him trying to pretend you weren’t scared out of your mind. He studied your face with both concern and relief. He thought he had lost you, again. 

“So does this mean I won?” He teased, studying your face as you giggled.

You smirked and nodded, trying to hide how cold you really were. Your shivering and shaking caused his face to grow serious again, staring straight into your eyes. 

“We need to get you back as soon as possible. You’re going to need Stark to take a look at you, make sure there’s no serious injuries…” He said, lifting you up in his arms, his large jacket draped over your shoulders. 

You nodded, allowing him to carry you in his arms, where it was safe.

“My dad and I used to visit this forest every Christmas. I just thought you would like to continue the tradition with me… the almost drowning part isn’t in the tradition though… 

I’m sorry I ruined your Christmas present…” You apologized, guilt ridden.

“Are you kidding me, that was the most fun that I’ve had in awhile. I’m just glad your ok. And besides, I won.” 

You smiled, looking up at his grinning face. Even after all that he still was able to make you smile. You felt your chest begin to warm again as you both made your way through the wintry forest. Reaching for his face you placed a small kiss on his cheek. He smiled and leaned in, kissing your lips. 

“Merry Christmas, Bucky.” 

“Merry Christmas, Y/n.”


End file.
